Reminds me of one of my professors who left her husband, who was also a professor, when he was diagnosed with cancer.
He survived, and uses her as an example of unethical behavior for his ethics course.
this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2025
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"today we will talk about my ex-wife.."
"NOT AGAIN PROFESSOR"
"IT'S FOR STUDIES!!!"
In my mind, this was taking place at Hogwarts.
It's the recover question at the end of the exam.
Do not cross teachers or songwriters, you will inspire future works.
My buddy is a songwriter and is working on an album right now. He was showing me the lyrics and I could almost map which songs were about who.
Half the album is sad bastard and the other half is just how certain relationships sucked.
I'm really looking forward to it. I run sound from time to time at a place where one of his exes works and I really want to queue it up between sets.
I really want to queue it up between sets.
I hate to be that guy, but since it appears to be related to your gig, I feel like it might be beneficial for you... The word is "cue" in this case.
I guess "queue" gets the point across though. And maybe "a queue of songs" is a valid descriptor.
M-W defines the verb forms of cue as queue. It seems like in historical use, cueing up media is typical, but queuing songs isn’t wrong.
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So based
How my mother views her children.
I work in a hospital (not a nurse or medical staff) and you'd be fucking appalled by how common this is.
Serious illnesses can be horrifying to watch someone go through and poverty routinely seperates loved ones.
Standing by someone in a terrible - perhaps terminal - condition is absolutely an incredible challenge and shouldn't be dismissed as anything less than that.
A big reason you want to stand by your partner in perilous circumstances is because you want them to be there for you. And another big reason is because you might not get any more moments together than this, so make them last.
In a place like America, where sick days are a luxury and health care can still bankrupt you, being at someone's bedside is a cross to bare. Be happy when you're not carrying it. Don't be so quick to judge when someone else can't.
I literally was a caregiver for ten years (full time six of those years). My wife recently died. I was astonished by the number of people who told me to leave her. wtf is wrong with people. You don’t abandon people who are suffering.
wtf is wrong with people.
That, Idfk. One thing to collapse under the pressure. Another thing to get up in someone's business and say something so vile.
Damn. You're a strong person. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm sure you staying by her side made those years more beareble for her. I'd like to think I'd do the same, but I hope I never have to find out...
Eh, I was just doing what I had to do for the person I loved. But thank you. I hope you don’t have to find out either. It is really cursed knowledge
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...i am not excusing this, but it seems that animalistic behaviour tends to leave the sick and wounded behind, humans are still deciding whether to be animals or something more...
I don’t think it’s instinct, but a calculated selfish decision. Will I profit from spending energy, time, and money in this person? If they die, it’s a net loss, so they bail.
Instinct only tell us to go away in case the disease is contagious.
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I have an honest followup question to this meme (because I lived it): how long do you expect the girlfriend to stay?
At age 23 I was in a great relationship, we were in love, then I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I stopped being able to do physical things, I dropped out of school, I was bedridden. She went from being my girlfriend to being my nurse. She cared for me for a year, one long miserable year, then she left.
Is she at fault for leaving?
In a scenario like this, I don't know that there's fault to be had.
Big picture (my opinion as a 53yo) 23 is still young and it's not uncommon for people and their priorities to change as they find direction in life. Even if you remained healthy, there's other growing and changes occurring that may have eventually lead to the end of the relationship - it's the risk we take when we make ourselves vulnerable to someone.
Is it unfortunate? Yes. Sad? Absolutely. Depressing and entirely unfair? No question. But you both lost the future you were hoping to have together. Wishing you better to come.
I try to go around life believing that nobody owes me anything in any way shape or form. Thus, I should be thankful for anything that I have.
She gave you a year, then she decided to leave. Technically, that makes it her fault. But exactly what does determining this accomplish for anyone or anything? Life will just randomly kick the shit out of you and tear you a new one. We all have to adapt and survive and negotiate. If that means leaving an optional strenuous situation, then that's what has to happen. It's life.
My problem isn't necessarily with her leaving. Assuming she left with tact. Which I doubt.
But the audacity to leave someone and then feel entitled to thier time when it suits you, is insane.
What happens if he gets sick again, will she again leave? Will she come back when he's better? How many times is she entitled to this cycle?
This person needs therapy, she is outrageously selfish.
It's not so black and white. It really depends. There needs to be communication between both parties.
It's perfectly fine if one person says, "I can't do this. I can't go through with this." Asking someone to stay by you until you die, or to carry the burden of your disability or sickness is a lot. If there's a conversation held about it and one person wants out then it's fine.
One person simply leaving the moment it's announced is a bit much though, especially if they decide to come back. As someone else said, it's called having tact.
Dunno, man. Its hard to say. When you marry you take vows. Breaking those vows is a massive no-no in my eyes.
Unmarried couples have never vowed to take care of each other in sickness and in health. On those grounds, I think its fair to say that leaving is not unethical. Doesn't change the fact that its absolutely devastating and worthy of scrutiny regardless.
Sorry you had to go through that.
A fancy ceremony doesn't change how people feel about the other person, nor the level of obligations they actually have (emotionally, financially it can get complicated). If you're unhappy and they reason cannot be changed (like chronic illness requiring significant care) then you fucking leave if that's what you want. Staying only creates two miserable people instead of one, and your partner will definitely understand even if it hurts.
A fancy ceremony doesn't change how people feel about the other person, nor the level of obligations they actually have
You literally take an oath at the ceremony vowing to uphold an extremely high level of obligations to another person.
If you're making vows at a wedding ceremony that you feel you can just nope out on if shit hits the fan, why are you getting married? What is the point?
I agree. The wedding shouldn't change how you feel about the other person because you should already be 100% dedicated if you're thinking of getting married.
I made a vow to my wife when we got married to care for her in sickness and in health. I do not care what happens in life, I would never abandon her. Period. That is the burden of the vow I made. In my mind my personal integrity is foundationally attached to it.
If you're comfortable with abandoning a spouse over health issues, the marriage was a sham from the get go. Like, what are you doing at the ceremony? Making vows with your fingers crossed behind your back? 🤞🤞🤞
A lot of people in the current culture we live in do not place any value on their word or honor. I don't really blame people for this since the system we live in almost exclusively rewards exactly the opposite behavior.
But it does make it very hard to communicate with people when you don't have the same vocabulary.
It seems like you and I believe a vow is something that you make and would hold yourself to regardless of circumstance. But the nature of our capitalistic society teaches us from very young age that if it will improve your standing, your finances, or your situation in some way, then it is okay to break your personal code.
With that rambling paragraph in mind, it's not surprising when we find out that most folks don't have a personal code and vows mean nothing more than a pinky swear.
Plenty of people before 2025 divorced for any number of reasons.
Plenty of people straight up murdered their spouse because divorce wasn't an option.
Saying "people in the current culture we live in do not place any value on their word or honor" means you have no idea how people in the past lived.
People are today as they have always been, just with different gadgets and environment.
I didn't say anything about a divorce or murder. Maybe I was bad at getting my point across.
The point I'm attempting to make is that putting value on your word, and by association giving extra value to a vow over another type of promise, is a lesser respected or necessary part of being a human in the late stage capitalist society that we live in.
This can be evidenced by people saying that a vow can easily be broken if the circumstances change.
That is not what a vow means.
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You're not understanding what I'm saying...whether or not you want to leave your partner when things go wrong is entirely independent of marriage. You don't stay because you got married and now it's just too bad, you stay because you love them. Marriage should be exactly zero percent of why you choose to stay. Staying with your partner, not because you want to but because you feel obligated, is just demeaning to them and cruel.
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Hey, person in the meme, if you read this, just tell him the truth, i'm sure he will appreciate it and be back together with you. You're welcome!
And let us know how it goes!
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She can try. Hopefully, the guy won't be dumb enough to fall for that.
Was the serious disease a lack of money?
I’ve been dying of that one since I was a teenager.
I became too crazy for my wife.
I was pretty crazy when she took me in (also hella creative and hella horny), but the COVID-19 lockdown did a number on ~~me~~ everyone, including me, and then I couldn't get back into therapy because it's impacted.
TMI
spoiler
On one hand, yeah, so much for in sickness and in health and on the other hand I know I can be ~~batshit insane and fucking scary~~ a bit of a burden sometimes.
Also I'm really, really big on consent and (only) what the girl wants, the girl gets. When she wants out, she gets out. (I'm jealous of the new beau, but more because I'm desperately lonely than a need to possess and contain her). Also she pushes herself to move on after loss (say when we lost our dog, we got a new puppy pretty quickly), where as I want to squeeze all the grief out for a year or two before unfurling my sails once again.
Being human is just hard.
Hey now it didn't get everyone, Covid barely affected me. Mind you I'm an insular bastard who is living up to a bunch of 1800s and 1700s stereotypes about American-Scots being insular mildly violent bastard who want to be left alone.
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