Ask Lemmy

I have never been high and don't really drink much. I have been mostly depressed since about 2013 but happy maybe here and there. The clean air a few months into lockdown was amazing though.

By wearing myself out physically or behind engrossed in a project (s). Both seem to work. I also see a direct correlation of social media and feeling hopeless, even on the decentralized sites. I try to limit my use and try to have them focused on my personal interests and block\filter the doomers. I can always go find the daily shit-news when I feel like it.

Sugar, chocolate, cookies and cakes.

If you can't feel joy with substances that means you're an addict. You need professional help probably.

But speaking more generally, your issue is you think 'happiness' is an emotional high you have to chase. What you don't get is that happiness isn't some intense feeling of joy... it isn't. It's the ability to self-regulate and to stop chasing the highs and the lows. It's realizing the 'bland' feeling is good. You should be feeling bland.

Honestly pretty relatable. I had a bit of a “you’ll shoot your eye out” moment this summer. I got some flower for the first time in a while (it’s mostly a thc drink culture around me) and was smoking daily. For the next couple weeks the thought kept crossing my mind that maybe I should only smoke every other day to keep my tolerance creep slow and prevent what I call “zombie mode.”

I got to meet one of my favorite youtubers whose first video I had watched was this one “On Weed:” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_pcavwJitC4

We talked a little and I asked if he still smokes. His answer? “Yeah, but only every other day.” To hear him echo the exact thing I had been considering internally really got me. I’ve been a lot better about keeping a day or more between getting high, and I have found that it has helped me enjoy being sober more as I have found things to do while sober, and also increased my enjoyment of getting high as I have more time to look forward to it and a lower tolerance that makes it easier to get to the right level.

I highly recommend it.

You assume I feel joy with those things?

Hobbies. So many hobbies and interests. My kids, my fiancee. Sports. TV shows, video games. Lots of stuff brings me joy. Spending time in the woods and outdoors can also help a lot. Tree showers, or whatever they're called. Forest showers? Try that.

🎶spent 15 years getting loaded... 15 years till his liver exploded....now what's Bob gonna do now that he can't drink? 🎶

music, rediscover music

I am in the same boat as you, but I agree with the other comments that say weed will make you ok with anything. Weed has always seemed like a good option for me due to (multiple sources of) chronic pain, but I can absolutely tell that it has affected me negatively over the years. I need a substantial lifestyle change at some point in the near future.. I need to reorganize my entire life, and also need to stop being a fat piece of shit.

Sport and board games.

Nothing like the adrenaline of sport. Capoeira, fencing, whatever...I think having no power, being completely depleted after doing sport is one of the best feelings.

Boardgames: simply a decent combination of strategy, luck and talking, that keeps you engaged.

You probably should take at least one year break from it. You will feel like shit for a time, but trust me when you stop using substances you will regain yourself, and your sense of balance slowly. Being sober is not your main problem..

Cravings and the feeling/thought of "just a little bit..", "it would help me.." will be present later, you have to learn your triggers and what makes you want to do it in the first place.. You have to research the topic.

I can tell that you aren't happy at all when you are high.. You might feel it, and belive it..

I won't tell you what to do or not, but as someone who came out alone from "addiction" mainly smoking weed, but used harder substances too..

Drugs fuk you up... No matter if you're using harmreduction practices, or just don't care..

Trust me there will be no need, even for a little bit of it, when you become sober and change your life truly..

You have to find your own way what works for you. Exercise is a good way to start.

It can be your source of strenght, and you can learn so much from yourself, your brain and substances..

It's better without it. It will get you nowhere good if you continue to smoke, you will never be satisfied if you think that weed makes you happy...

I dont want to discourage you from getting clean and healthy, but you kind of can't feel the same joy from sobriety.

There are certain moments in life that will blow regular drugs out the water (cant speak for hard drugs/DMT), like getting married, seeing your kid get born, achieving a lifelong goal etc. The problem is they're just moments. Life is absolutely dull when sober, but once youre used to it its just fine.

Exercise releases endorphins, also it can take your mind off of troubles.

Do you exist solely to do drugs??

Maybe try being sober. Couldn't hurt your chances with women

Walking. Community involvement. Sitting in silence. Recognizing the task at hand and knowing I can find a way to get it done. A berry smoothie. A cup of tea.

I'm entirely the opposite. I don't know how you find the will to breathe after more than a beer. I swear statues are made of people that smoke weed. I still feel smoke in my system after 3 weeks and take nearly a month to feel 100% again without the dull lag. After just one beer I am done for the day and won't get anything productive done. Back when I raced, my legs felt like they were weighted with lead bricks for a couple of days after just a beer. However, Adderall is like my super power.

Alcohol only gives you empty calories which fills your belly unnecessarily. So I drink it seldom, and tbh I still not get used for that burning tasteless liquid

Maybe you’re self medicating

Weed gives me anxiety attacks and I'm allergic to alcohol.

I rather enjoy alcohol and weed, but I find I enjoy them more the less I use them. I think once a week or biweekly is the sweet spot for me, though twice a week is ok. More than that and the fun diminishes and the negative effects are felt more. My main relaxing hobby is video games, and I like the idea of beers/weed and gaming, but it really sucks for anything that’s not really casual. I’ve been running through hollow knight this month and I’ve noticed when I do partake in either that it makes the platforming and bosses much harder

How do you feel joy while using depressants like alcohol and weed? Personally I hate the loss of control, I feel less like myself, but I know everyone's different. To answer your question:

I go for walks and see the sunlight through the leaves. I ride my bike and, to paraphrase the poet, sing a song of the muscles of the leg. I read poetry. I hug my loved ones. I go dancing. I challenge myself with puzzles. I read YA fiction as a grown-ass adult just because I want the good guys to win every now and then.

Sugar

I mean, I don't, but I didn't feel joy with them either.

I guess, sometimes there's a cat to pat.

Walks, bike rides, outdoors. I often procrastinate but when I’m out I always am happy I’m out there.

What's your sober life like?

I feel joy when I play boardgames or tabletop RPGs. With a good table, lots of banter and shit talking happens and that's perfect.

Never had weed. When I drink, I get more talkative, but it's a fine line before I get sleepy and depressed