Ask Lemmy

Sounds like you should be sober from weed too.

If your default state is high, you're never sober. You're just experiencing the hangover state between highs. Think of it as the weed version of delerium to an alchoholic. It's not a physical hangover, so it's not as obvious.

Stay sober for a few weeks. It'll drag at first, but it'll go away after a bit. You'll even out your neurotransmitters and feel like yourself again. Then getting high on occasion will be an event, not a medication.

Anecdotally, people I've known who smoke everyday tend to be okay with things they shouldn't be. The chemical joy seems to make them content with having a kind of shitty life and never actually doing anything. High activities just became their only activities when weed changed from weekends to everyday. I'm not saying this is true of everyone, but I've seen it happen more often than not to daily smokers.

Drugs and alcohol should be occasional modifiers to your life, not the default state. Give your chemistry a rest.

I have ADHD and for me there is only joy or great missery

Take a month off the chems and exercise regularly during that time

Honestly breaks from instant excitement. Spending some time coding, making soap, fixing up the house. If I spend three days boozing, playing games, watching shows, etc I'll be fucking wiped and spend some time just feeling like death afterwords.

If I instead stick to things that require some choring to get to the yippy stage I find I'm just more content.

The most common way for me is with music, sometimes a song hits just right and it’s amazing. Doesn’t have to be a happy song to make me feel happy, just has to be the right song.

Off the top of my head, here are a few of the things that gave me joy this week...

OMG kitty!
Hey, it's my awesome wife!
Yay, video games!
This burger tastes amazing!
Damn this chair is comfy.
Boobies!!!
I made someone smile today!
It's a beautiful day for a bike ride!
Did I mention the kitty?
Farts are funny, I didn't care how old I am.
I made friends with my new neighbors dog!

If you aren't getting at least a little bit of joy from life, you probably need to see someone about depression.

Was a daily smoker for almost two decades and would defend my usage to anyone who suggested it could be a source of discontent in my life. I kicked the booze habit 10 years ago, kicked nicotine a few years after that, but held onto bud for a long time.

I'm almost 4 months sober now from thc and, while the first 1.5 months were shit cause of sleep issues and general system regulation, I'm so happy to be on the other side of it. It started out as tea break, I had some projects I kept putting off and thought I could reset my tolerance and get some motivation at the same time. But now that I'm several months deep, I'm not going back. My life has improved so much, in both minor and major ways.

Every person is different and it's not my place to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do regarding substance intake. All I can say is, as someone who was dedicated to a substance supported existence for the majority of my adult life, I am definitely, without a doubt, my best self as a sober human.

It's going to get worse before it gets better. But it's worth it.

I like growing and tending to plants, painting miniatures, and working on DnD projects. All of these also generate a physical, tangible thing which is also nice (though I really wish I could use the DnD stuff more.)

I'm not your parent, and I don't want to take any substance away from you without your consent.

That said, feeling like you can't experience joy while being sober and lucid is extremely sad. And I say that as someone who has experimented with substances! Without any judgement, I think a therapist will help you far more than the effects of any drug...

I don't drink or weed.

joy is fleeting.

rage is eternal.

accept the rage, become the rage.

The problem with asking others how the heck they regulate without drugs is that they're not you. They don't have your brain or your hormones.

No solution from someone without the problem is likely to work and most people with the problem do not have a solution.

If i can find a sweet spot where i'm challenged but succeeding in an environment free of selfish unethical people, then i can get through the day without a toke. At the moment its bong-a-fucking-clock.

Never felt any impetus to drink, and I have a personal aversion to recreational drugs.

Without thinking too hard about it, I probably get the most joy from learning stuff, especially when it's within a topic of interest and has any level of application to my interests or skills. Bonus points when I make the connection myself.

I see other comments mentioning ADHD, so I'll add that I have a diagnosis for it as well.

Good question, though. It's been a while since I asked myself this, and I'm overdue for a reassessment. Thanks.

Give consentual pets.

Never smoked weed or had a drop of alcohol here!

Honestly, your question is somewhat unsettling, as I'm not sure it is exactly healthy to only feel joy while under the influence of chemicals, so that might be something you should ask a medical professional about.

That said, surely you experienced joy as a child before using weed/alcohol at some point in your life, right? I guess in a lot of ways, I still feel that same spark of happiness or excitement I did when I was a kid. The things that sparked it may have changed somewhat, but the same feeling is there.

Brain normalizes pretty much everything. Keep the happy sources small, and sometimes really small things can give a big hit.

My most recent hit? A rosary popped out of a treadmill.

Without drugs your body moderates moods and emotions naturally based more or less on what is beneficial or harmful (good things might be connecting with friends, succeeding at a challenge, good food, a comfortable or beautiful environment). Thinking positively is incredibly helpful too.

With drugs though, your feeling of good and happiness is skewed out of balance so only drugs will give you that feeling.

Drugs artificially elevate mood by flooding the brain with neurotransmitters such as dopamine, distorting your sense of well-being and preventing your body from producing these feelings naturally.

It might not be easy but your body will return to normal rythms and emotions with time and healthy habits.

Exercise & fresh air & sunshine & nutritious food. As a bonus, it costs nothing! Aside from the cost of food which we all need anyway, so might as well spend our money on healthy food instead of the other options.

• Long walks, daily. This literally changed my life.
• Spending time with people I love. Quality time I mean, and really being together and appreciate it aka not sitting one next to the other while wasting our time in front of the TV or doom scrolling.
• Reading great books, writing. That helps too.
• Most important: be ok with things not being perfect or exactly as one wants them to be. And being ok with shit happening, be it around us or with us.

I don't even feel joy with alcohol and weed. It just shuts off the constantly simmering rage for a while so I can socialize without being a dick.

When you become addicted to something, taking that something will often bring you back to baseline due to the cravings you have when not doing that addictive something. At least that's how I see it. It's like when smokers say they feel less stressed when they smoke, but really they just feel normal when they smoke because the addiction stresses them out when they're not smoking.

When I was young, I had no money to get drunk or high, or smoke. Saw people getting hooked on that shit, sick, and dying, and decided that this is not the way for me.

Can't say I'm unhappy with that choice, and my life.

When I take a break from weed, I notice two main things.

1. Physically I'm worse. My joints ache. I don't want to move. Sleep is difficult, especially at first.

2. Mentally I feel way more clear. My thoughts come more quickly, and I feel like I can hold more information in my working memory. I remember old things better and store memories for the future better. I can feel the curtain of brain fog lift after a couple of sober days.

I drink alcohol maybe once per year and I've never touched weed. I feel joy when I am around people and animals whom I love.

Make sure you are also doing fun and nice things for yourself while sober, and not just reserving it for when you're high. Expectations and associations make a big difference, if you're taking a drug with the intention and belief that it will make you feel a certain way, that alone might make it work.

Except for alcohol, which will make often you feel like shit even if you expect it to make you feel good. Congrats on quitting.

Doing 'nothing much' while stoned can be good fun, but is miserable sober. Youre probably not going to feel happy without alcohol / thc if you're just remove them and don't change your lifestyle. Think about activities that weed doesn't go that well with and try and get into those. That's why 'sober' people are often the folks going for early morning runs or playing in sports clubs, or their taking on lots of projects and creating /renovating / etc. What interests you is personal, but reading, gardening, outdoor walks, climbing, community activitivism, learning a language, etc are all good choice.

Alc and thc in the long term both suppress your ability to be happy without them. Your brain gets so use to them that once they are gone it doesn’t know how to maintain your dopamine levels properly.

My biggest advice. It’s ok to be sad, it’s ok to be bored. Infact it’s good to be bored on occasion. It drives passion and energy. Learn to take care yourself. Be gentle when you’re sad, talk with family, exercises, hand with friends. If you’re bored or sad it’s generally your bodies way of telling you that the environment your in needs a change. Being sad or bored or anxious doesn’t have to feel like the end of the world. It takes practice but it’s achievable. You just need to be vigilant and mindful of your emotions

lol "joy"

Alcohol AND weed

I hear you. I'm a little different these days, but can totally relate. I drink beer usually one night each weekend, and get nicely drunk (pretty wasted). I feel shit the next day and my working week starts grouchy and tired. Fucks up my sleep pattern as well as wrecking my "health goals" (ie being less fat). However, mid week I'm fine and come Friday I'm excited for it.

Rince and repeat for the last 15 years. Before that I was drunk 3-4 nights a week. So I guess that's progress...

I never had weed, but I did drink occasionally. I am seldom sad. I may not always be happy, but I am always peaceful. I cannot offer you advice, but I can tell you what makes me persistently joyful are people. Maybe I would help someone carry a bag, or just smile at someone running, reminding them that they can do it. Just small interactions in my beautiful little city with its beautiful people. Makes me feel a strong sense of identity, like I am invested in everyone's personal success. It also never makes me feel alone, because if I am suffering, I just think of millions of others who are also suffering. Some are facing bigger and some smaller problems than mine.

Try being more kind to strangers, more generous and more empathetic. This alone has led me to so much peace, that I cannot tell you.

I hope you do well, my friend.

Cocaine, ghb, twelve Thai prostitutes at once. They have to be Thai though.

I think that when you "poison" your brain with easy dopamine like candy, fastfood, alcohol, drugs, endless scrolling, etc you will shift the internal goalpost of when something feels good. Compared to these easy sources of "joy", life just isn't that interesting. The scale changes to the point that normal things cannot longer provide enough jou to be worth it.

Personally I've been trying to constrain myself a bit on these easy sources of "empty happiness". Things that do give me joy without ruining my brain are, among others: running, music festivals, listening to nice music, looking back at something cool I made, making something cool, playing videogames, chilling with friends (though this usually involves alcohol). These things definitely don't reliably provide joy, Most of the times they're just "nice" but definitely not amazing. But every now and then I get hit with that dopamine rush and it's all worth it.

Never liked alcohol much, and while getting a nice weed buzz every now and again is fun to chill out, I do that twice a year at most. For me it's all about finding something that is both interesting, entertaining and calming at the same time. I get that from woodworking or general DIY stuff, reading, and Yoga. But everybody is different.

I smoked a lot of weed as a young adult. Looking back on that time I believe that I was escaping from the endless intrusive thoughts. Focusing my mind on any sort of work was difficult and I used all sorts of substances to get by. My typical usage profile is to find something appealing and use the shit out of it until it becomes a problem, spend time recovering and repeat with the next chemical. After recovering from heroin addiction it became obvious that it was not normal behaviour and I sought medical advice. They diagnosed ADHD and many of the past events started to make sense. I use routine to bring order to my life. I meditate to calm the mind. The medication allows me to focus and prioritise tasks. I think of my life in two starkly distinct chapters, pre and post diagnosis. I feel happy and the thought of taking substances seems like a strange thing to do.

You need a comprehensive detox. Both those substances are depressants. When you’re off the drugs, you’re not so much sober as hung over. It takes a while for the effects to wear off. The hangover is a bad time but it takes a lot longer than a day for your body to fully recover.

“Dissociative drugs make me happy.” Perhaps you have anxiety, depression, etc. Yeah, life sucks right now too. But always being high isn’t really a solution. Therapy, antidepressants, friends, and family can help but I can’t begin to guess what your situation is.

I transitioned and now life is mostly kinda acceptable levels of bullshit with some very bright spots so... estrogen injections I guess.

LSD