Asklemmy

They treat service people well.

they read books

They are happy to see you!

They handle stress and disappointment well.

They don't externalize their frustrations, and take responsibility for solving their own problems. They act like a functioning adult.

They have interests and hobbies that they are happy to do alone, or share.

Unfair - but they don't have intense money, drug, social pressure in their life, a stable situation is the good grounds for relationships

bonus: If their parents are attractive, then they could be a good partner who ages gracefully with you

Uses vim?

If a person carries their trash with them until they stumble upon a trash bin they instantly have a plus in my book.

Kindness to animals. Just all animals, generally

The simple virtue of being able to genuinely express these words; "I don't know", "Sorry" and "Thank you" (or any derivative of these*).

Only kicks upwards, not downwards. Has a backbone and principles. Doesn't value money over meaning. Likes to teach people instead of putting oneself over them.

They're self aware. Understand the difference between subjectivity and objectivity. When they encounter someone different, they don't judge, see it as a learning opportunity. Put thought into their words. If you ask them a question, you can see them carefully thinking about it.

Expresses disagreement with people talking shit about others when they don't have to

Treats everyone with respect regardless of what their perceived status is.

When they call you because they're at the supermarket and you might want something.

Actually intelligent, reads books, sense of humor, actually listens.

People who treat others who cannot benefit them well. For example, wait staff.

I should probably add my own. They like plants

• vegan
• soft spoken
• patient
• hands scarred/calloused from work
• creases in face from smiling
• casual manner/attire
• walks around other earthlings on footpaths etc instead of through
• puts their shopping trolley away, bonus if they round up others
• mocks authority
• is kind to children and listens to them seriously

They're a fucking weirdo like me and so don't mind being goofy a good bit of the time.

They can laugh at themselves. Not to the point of self deprecation, but they can acknowledge when they're wrong or dumb

They talk about Pokemon in the first date and will defend gen whatever while still calling it shit.

Cutting the bullshit and getting straight to the point. If I wanna play games I have a playstation.

When they pay back what they owe without being reminded.

Liking ska punk

They smile at people they meet in a genuine "have a good day" vibe. It lifts people more than you know.

They actually show up, or, failing that, tell you they aren't going to show up and summarize why and when the next best time is.

They join banter in a comfortable way without using character assassination as an authority/persuasion grab.

I think the way people talk about themselves vs. the way they talk about others is very telling about their personality. Being positive and humble/making fun of oneself while being positive about others is a huge green flag.

They communicate honestly

They are open to the idea that they could be at fault in any given situation but neither always assume they are nor always assume they are not.

Kindness and looking out for others even when they don't have to.