this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2023
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[–] Sabre363@sh.itjust.works 94 points 1 year ago (4 children)

What we need to do is stop viewing men and women as separate entities that require different expectations and treatment. Hell, we should probably just chuck the entire construct of gender out the window as it serves no real purpose other than to pit groups of people against each other.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We can admit there are differences in biology, sex, and cultural expectations rather than live in fantasy land and paint with a brush so broad it covers literally everyone in existence.

How about we treat groups as individuals. Whether that be a man or woman. Chances are the problems effecting most men are issues other men face. Women that only women face. Then some that everyone does.

[–] Sabre363@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm my experience the only problems that affect any specific gender are either tied directly to biology or, much more commonly, are problems that we ourselves create because we insist on a difference between genders.

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[–] spaduf@slrpnk.net 24 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I think this is absolutely the way to go for future generations (think genderless preschools/kindergartens) but I really don't think we can just flip a switch and undo millennia of gendered expectations. Although I really do appreciate the folks that try.

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think it's extreme to say gender is inherently bad.

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[–] DanglingFury@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

How you gonna sell makeup and purses and shit unless they think they are not pretty? Gotta get them to sexualize themselves then get them to doubt their inherent beauty so they buy your products.

How you gonna sell guns and trucks and shit unless they think they are not manly.

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=CgeEEFpnvZA&si=IdTezv7Mtjd1e1nK

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[–] Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 31 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Can I just realize I am a human with weaknesses and strengths, loves and hates, bias and judgements but knows that if I am aware that the judgements and bias are there that I can set them aside to be fair to all when needed?

I don't really want to do drugs, even if they will open my brain to the universe. I'm not ready to deal with my shit right now. I'd rather just be nice to everyone except obvious assholes, who I will just keep at a distance for my own sake.

[–] spaduf@slrpnk.net 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Nope strong psychedelics are mandatory now.

But seriously I am not by any means advocating psychedelics as any sort of solution to anything. My own experiences with psychedelics have not always been good and if folks don't think it's right for them they should absolutely trust that feeling.

[–] lingh0e@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 year ago (7 children)

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

  • Hunter S Thompson

I didn't really develop a personality of my own until I went balls deep into psychedelics and dissociatives in my 20's, and even then it wasn't until I started having "bad" experiences. That first bad LSD trip was rough, but it changed how I saw myself and my place in the world in a fundamental way. So many molecules, so many memories.

[–] TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

I can deeply relate with this! The most extreme "bad" trip I ever had completely changed the way I saw my life.

I was headed down a bad road, and had become content with my shitty lot in life. That trip made me face the fact that I was unhappy and was going to continue become more and more unhappy until I did something about it.

Over a decade later, I am much happier with myself and my environment. Thank you LSD! You changed me life!

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[–] Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago

I'm sure there are plenty of good ways to get high, I smoked a lot of weed back in the day but I'd rather just be completely sober now.

I spent 32 years of my life sleeping horribly, my brain literally doesn't tell my lungs to breathe, I got a CPAP at 32 and for the first time felt truly awake. It was probably the most clarifying feeling I've ever felt in my life. I don't think I want to fuck with my brain now that I have it operating about as good as it ever will.

[–] z00s@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Sounds like you've already done the self realization bit, no need to do drugs

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[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Doesn't need to be anything as wild as peyote. Just get some psilocybin, some pals you haven't seen in a while, and have a talk. You'll come out of that with a deeper understanding of yourself. Fact is, for every toxic man that needs to do soul searching, there's a toxic woman. Perhaps, instead of pointing the finger at the opposite sex/gender/whatever, take people on a case by case basis. If they're important to you in your life, you can be the catalyst that causes them to take the first step towards self improvement. Empathy is extremely important.

[–] numberfour002@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And then go to prison for being in possession of "narcotics" with "intent to distribute" because the police tested a bag of kitty litter and determined there was a trace of illegal drugs in it so the whole thing is cataloged as $10,000,000,000 USD worth of hardcord drugs.

[–] Steak@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Never try hardcord drugs not even once

[–] jas0n@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Peyote is gateway to Ethernet

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[–] Inucune@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We should do the same for shallow women.

[–] Piecemakers3Dprints@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We should do the same for ~~shallow women~~ everyone.

[–] YonderCrawdad@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, this stupid polarization shit needs to end for all groups not just those who feel the most victimized in the media.

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[–] Stanwich@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not here for your fucking needs

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[–] DahGangalang@infosec.pub 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't see how men being gentlemen and dealing with their inner demons are mutually exclusive

I do see peyote being the part that doesn't fit in though...

[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (9 children)

Psychedelics can help you identify, understand, come to terms with accepting, and managing, the things about yourself you wouldn't otherwise. That begets the healthy self aware gentleman

[–] mekwall@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They can also mess you up even worse

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[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

My wife says I'm great BUT I would be willing to do peyote under the stars anyway.

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[–] spaduf@slrpnk.net 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Jesus Christ a lot of y'all are taking this way too seriously

[–] ALostInquirer@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

did you pass out the psychedelics yet?

[–] raynethackery@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, you are already on your trip.

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeaaa, you go first, chief.

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[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Manifish_Destiny@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Please don't do peyote. It's endangered. Go drink a san Pedro cactus instead.

[–] iiGxC@slrpnk.net 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Unless you grew it yourself from seed. But san pedro grows way faster, is more legal, and more common/cheaper, so just a better option for most people

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[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Will that humble me like peyote?

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[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (17 children)

Is this really a good idea with a mass unguided approach?

A small fraction of men today are facing their "deep cores of emptiness" and are totally unequipped to deal with that reality. They "don't return to the village humbled". They lash out in violent rage and frequently killing other people in the process.

[–] AlfredEinstein@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Actually, this makes me want to go to the next Jan 6 type rally with some Merry Prankster dosed Punch.

I'll make a sign that says "FREE MAGAritas!"

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[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Peyote definitely did not humble me

[–] douglasg14b@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

men bad women good

Is the vibe.

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[–] pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago (8 children)

no I'm too square and scared of mind altering substances (my grasp on reality is already quite tenuous)

[–] Selmafudd@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Stay that way if you can...

I had a pretty bad trip which resulted in an ego death. I'm not sure how I kept my job after it, I was basically a walking zombie for a good 2 months. Took about 18 months to connect back to reality and even now 7 years later I'm not the same person.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't mean to invalidate your experience at all but I don't think that's what people commonly think of when referring to "ego death". In my experience it's shorter and fades with the trip. Experiences that long sounds like it triggerered something. Are you familiar with depersonalization and rerealization? I've experienced something similar to those, unrelated to a trip, that lasted a few months.

I'm really sorry you had to navigate that. I've had (mostly) positive experiences with psychedelics but this is a good reminder to not recommend them freely.

[–] Selmafudd@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Yeah ok those explain it a bit better.

I completely became detached from myself. Even in a wild dream where you may look different etc you're still you, what I did to myself I was not only not me at some points I wasn't even a person or an animal.. was mould and ink and a single atom.. shit sounds crazy stupid typing it now but it was very real when it was happening

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[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Same. I've had ego death before, tripped hundreds of times, I've always been, and will continue to be, an advocate for psychedelic drugs, mostly mushrooms. But that last trip (mushrooms) was so bad, I was begging my wife to call 911 (convinced I was dying of a heart attack). She was on even more than I was and handled it like a champ, reminding me I was on mushrooms and even slapped a Fitbit on my wrist (which I couldn't read lol) to show me I was not having a heart attack. I'll never know how she managed to deal with me in that state. But ever since that night, even if I smoke weed I start to get that panicked feeling from that trip. I realize of course now that I had a panic attack in the moments leading to the ego death and after it became so strong I could no longer panic, said my goodbyes (lol) and accepted my fate. It was pure hell.

I'm convinced my mind is too fragile to experience that ever again and I will not ever take that chance again. It took months to recover and I was even prescribed Klonopin to ease the continuing panic attacks during the following weeks.

Mushrooms can be an amazing, beautiful, life changing drug, but it can also kick your fucking ass so bad you'll be feeling the effects of that ass whooping for the rest of your life. In retrospect I'm glad I had that experience but do not wish to repeat it. I've had bad trips many times but that was straw that broke this camels back.

Long story short, trips can be a learning experience that can't be obtained anywhere else, but know that they can leave lasting effects (mostly positive, but not always) that will change you on a fundamental level.

[–] Selmafudd@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

The panic attack was the exact same as me although I'd never experienced a panic attack or even mild anxiety before then so it took me about 5 or 6 more panic attacks in the following months to work out what was happening. Was a wild few months there just randomly thinking I was dying.

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[–] CrowAirbrush@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

A what now? I thought i was capable of speaking English.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

I volunteer as tribute.

[–] MuhammadJesusGaySex@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I can’t do hallucinogens anymore. Even ecstasy gives me a “bad trip”. I get all anxious and in my own head. I have to lock myself in a room by myself. I can’t smoke weed because it makes me super anxious. Micro-dosing is cool though.

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