Once you invite them in and feed them, you'll never get rid of them. But the same could be said for mormons.
this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023
847 points (98.4% liked)
Funny
9781 readers
753 users here now
General rules:
- Be kind.
- All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
- Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
- No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
- Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.
Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Why would you do that with Mormons though?
They said they'd give me a planet
Still, vampires are better.
Morons give out planets?
Well because maybe it's a good thing to offer food to these kids who don't really yet understand the folly of their cult beliefs. At least I can give them a cookie or something for their efforts.
We are talking about vampires, right?
Umm.....not sure anymore. Do vampires like cookies? If they're nice they can come to my house and have a bite.
I let some Mormons come in once when I was in my early 20's because I wanted to confirm some things I had heard about their religion that they usually don't share with outsiders. We talked for about an hour and then I asked them to leave. They came back the next day with their leader, and we talked some more. Then they came back the next day with their leader, and his leader! At that point I just told them point blank that it was nice talking to them, but I'm never converting to Mormonism, so stop coming back. To their credit, they said okay and left. It was an interesting experience.
If you kept that going much longer most of Provo would have been at your door.
Well I'm pretty anti-mormon even though I live in Utah. I guess shouldn't be so hard on them, they're not bad people really and I have mistreated them quite often. They do have weird beliefs (in my view) but when you're raised with that mindset it's not really your fault for believing it. Our neighbors are mormon and they're always looking after us, shovel our driveway when it snows and check to see if we're doing OK. I'd like to think that's how neighbors SHOULD be no matter their religious ideas.
Mormons seem to walk the walk a lot more than other religions I've been exposed to. They generally live by the rules they espouse, and they have a robust support network for their members, including things like discount grocery stores. It's not for me, but as religious people go, they seem pretty okay.
I've lived among them for 65 years and there are good people and bad, as in every other circumstance. The mormons do live by the rules they espouse (which isn't so great for mormon women) but, they also do take care of neighbors in need and always bring over food when they make too much. I can't fault them for trying to be as good mormons as possible. But I do object to the term "Latter Day Saints" because, to me, no human is meant to be a saint. We're meant to be human and have human failings and learn from them.
Insert a joke about kidnapping Mormons here.
Honestly, I think vampires would have plenty of volunteers nowadays.
Really depends on the rules vampires exist under.
I'm guessing some people wouldn't care and just want in, but there are quite a few vampire mythologies that would be a really awful existence.
Fr. In most interpretations vampires are undead, beings that lose all the joy of living, no warmth, no taste except for blood, inability to have kids or sex, being weak to the sun/running water/garlic/holy ground, being unable to enter any residence without being invited, having to sleep in coffin with dirt from where you are born (which means you can't travel without bringing a whole ass coffin with you). Being a vampire would suck, now a daywalker tho....
All existence is awful, but if you were a vampire you would get to wear a neat cape
Ay, nobody's stopping you!
No capes!
You're not doing a good job of turning me away ಠ_ಠ
True.
Grounded vampire mythos is suspiciously similar to the symptoms of rabies.
If you get Form Of Mist, though, I'm in.
Walking on ceiling, though. If I can get that, I'd say yes, too.
If that's a symptom of rabies then Harper Lee undersold it.
It might be, but most rabies patients are probably too terrified of dying and water to try it out.
I highly recommend the show “What We Do in the Shadows.” It sort of covers this
My friend complains it's awful but watches with me anyway and laughs
I always say being awful does not equal being non-enjoyable. It seems your friend agrees.
That's a good friend
I love that show so much. Bat!
Finally a chance to clear my games and books backlog
Me in '06/07.
It's a trap!
Now that's a meme I haven't heard in a while, nice!
So you say your Dracula died and came back to life? And you drink his blood during religious service in his honor?
Yes but it's human blood that we anoint and gets spiritually converted to Dracula blood.
"Ye- oh! Ha. Nice try, bite guy."
"I D K, Can You Come In?"
"Never invite a vampire into your home, you silly boy, it renders you powerless."
This is brilliant!
And that is how I came to be a vampire thunder crash