Uh...is travelling through time and mass exterminating purple lovecraftian monsters with my pet bird a crime? Because if not, I got nothin

Destroying a planet solely to exterminate an invasive species in order to thwart the plans of a space pirate organization who were planning on leveraging the powers of said invasive species for nefarious purposes.

At least I saved the animals.

Demolishing robots with a magnetic guitar-sword in beat with my rock playlist that plays in my heart.🤘

Driving a Trabant through the desert. Occasionally shooting rabid bunnies.

MarioKart so hit and run or throwing things at other cars

Starting a cult and working people to death so that I have infinite money without having to do anything.

Edit: before you ask, no, it's not Rimworld or Cult of the Lamb

Edit 2: I wonder if anyone can guess the game

Edit 3 since it's been about 12hrs and no one guessed, it's The Sims.

Assisting a vampire in plotting and then carrying out the murder of her father.

For yelling too loud.

Statement of an observing police officer:

They say ToxicWaste murdered that Salesman... with his voice! Shouted him apart!

Being too homosexual.

FFXIV

War crimes.

climbing a mountain and curing my depression

Mass murdering animals.

Doing 95mp/h in a semi down the shoulder of a highway in Colorado.

I'd probably be done in for EPA violations (Satisfactory).

Running a 75 ton Timberwolf Battlemech.

Pretty sure just turning the thing on would be enough to get me arrested. Civilians typically aren't allowed Surface To Surface missiles, and megawatt power lasers that are effective weapons at a range of over 1000m.

I'll have a 100 ton Madcat 2 soon.

Rolling a ball that, through exponential growth, eventually starts to swallow up the likes of skyscrapers, clouds, Godzilla, and the planets of the galaxy.

Space mining.

Being an ex yakuza

Killing mr house

Polluting and extracting every raw resource for my own benefit, mindlessly destroying the native alien population as they attempt to stop my destruction of their land.

Shooting myself in the head with a very realistic looking toy gun-- repeatedly (?)

Murdering zombies with plants.

One could say it's zombies vs. plants!

Making my government into an expansionist empire and leading its armies with a bit too much detail.

For apprehending or killing terrorists, and defusing their bombs in a hospital terror attack

Legend of Zelda, maybe somebody finally had enough of me smashing all their pots and cutting all their grass. I don't think those monsters are calling the cops for all the murder, they always seem to pop right back anyway.

Graveyard Keeper.

I don't even know. An absurd amount of mishandling and experimenting on corpses.

Trying to commit a hostile takeover by having my company's employees fistfight their company's employees in the town square.

mass killing of scribble spiders? idk

brutal organ harvesting using exclusively medicinal plants, followed by cannibalism

Driving my rocket powered car into someone so they explode. What a save.

Murdering wildlife and blowing up planets.

Rimworld players:

Destruction of property and I guess kidnapping by rolling everything in earth into a giant ball

Trespassing - have to catch that pokemon for Pokemon Go.

definately animal abuse.
i put 25 cows into a 1m² pen.

Killing hundreds of zombies, skeletons, creepers, and Illagers, not so I can save the villagers they wrongly imprisoned, but so I can get that one specific gilded sword.

I’m not sure I’m getting arrested. Me and a team of mercenaries were fighting another team of mercenaries over suitcases of intelligence. Seems like a state of war.

Killing the queen (chess)

Last game I've played was egg, inc. It's a mobile idle "numbers go up" game.. There's nothing overtly criminal, so probably tax evasion or something on my trevigintillion bocks.

Forging a committed relationship with Shadowheart.