this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
65 points (94.5% liked)

Mental Health

4669 readers
52 users here now

Welcome

This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.

Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.

If you need someone to talk to, @therapygary@lemmy.blahaj.zone has kindly given his signal username to talk to: TherapyGary13.12

Rules

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

  1. No promoting paid services/products.
  2. Be kind and civil. No bigotry/prejudice either.
  3. No victim blaming. Nor giving incredibly simplistic solutions (i.e. You have ADHD? Just focus easier.)
  4. No encouraging suicide, no matter what. This includes telling someone to commit homicide as "dragging them down with you".
  5. Suicide note posts will be removed, and you will be reached out to in private.
  6. If you would like advice, mention the country you are in. (We will not assume the US as the default.)

If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.

Partner Communities

To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.

Becoming a Mod

Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to @fxomt@lemmy.dbzer0.com.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Title says it, apparently i've been "too much" for them to handle (and i recognize i was quite the bag of rocks in 2021).

But these last two years everything had been just fine (i apologized for my misbehavior, i finally got a job), everything was going great.

But now they suddenly felt they've "changed and matured" (their words, not mine) and that somehow does not allow us to be friends any longer.

Any advice?

I feel i'm losing my head over this.

top 8 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 70 points 11 months ago

That sucks, bud. Unfortunately literally the only thing to do is let it alone and move on with your life. If they get back in touch later, great, but otherwise they're now just some people you used to know.

[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 39 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

People are people, meaning everybody has their own thoughts and feelings. If you love them you'll respect them and give them space. You don't have to understand, you don't have to like it, and you can even be frustrated or angry. You can also continue to love them and miss what you had, and you can even reach out to them periodically and gently probe to see if they are ready to talk more about your differences and if they are open to mending the rift. But for now, give them space. Think of it like a trip where you are far apart and can't see each other and you are living your life as best you can. Think about yourself and the people who are willing to stand by you and enjoy who you are now. Be open to new friendships and new experiences, and look ahead.

[–] protist@mander.xyz 26 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

There's not much you can do to change the decisions they've made, but you can reflect on your decisions and see if you want to try to change anything about yourself.

I don't know what exactly you're referring to when you say "misbehavior," but sometimes the stank will never come off a relationship after that. Also, people grow and over time may naturally drift together or apart. Could be you're still "misbehaving" but aren't aware of it.

[–] KazuyaDarklight@lemmy.world 23 points 11 months ago

Realistically SOL, move on. You can ask what you're doing that's objectionable but you need to be ready to hear it calmly and not try to fight/argue your case and that's hard to impossible for many. For that same reason it's a real crap shoot that they'll be willing to tell you. They don't want to get yelled at. IF they tell you, and IF you keep cool, then you decide if you want to change. It needs to be because you see value in it beyond the friends though because if you do, then try, but you still need to respect your friends and disengage. Just hope that they see the changes from afar and reach out. They may not. If you don't see intrinsic value/don't want to change, cool, move on.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

you can't force friendship. for whatever reason things changed, that's a fact now, and no reasoning or anguish will make them decide to reverse their course. replace them with better friends. easier said than done, but letting this eat your brain isn't a valid solution. moving on, is.

[–] JayBird76@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

I think it says a lot more about them than it does about you. I've had people who I thought were close friends turn out to be fake. It messes with your head and hurts like crazy, but you have to realize that it's about them and not you.

[–] Granixo@feddit.cl 15 points 11 months ago

Thanks to all for your replies, seriously <3

I'll try my best to face forward and improve upon myself :)

[–] JimboDHimbo@lemmy.ca 7 points 11 months ago

Find like 2 new hobbies, preferably either a hobby done in groups / causes social interactions, make new friends!

Itll be okay fam. 😁