this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2023

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If you don’t love me… (i.imgur.com)

submitted 2 years ago by Rough_N_Ready@lemmy.world to c/atheistmemes@lemmy.world

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[–] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 53 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

“Religion has actually convinced people... that there's an invisible man... living in the sky... who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of TEN THINGS HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO DO. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

...But He loves you."

-George Carlin

[–] nale@lemmy.ml 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

And he needs money!

[–] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

All knowing, all powerful, all wise... JUST CAN'T HANDLE MONEY!

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Carlin didn't do this one, but I always liked the joke about the three religious leaders talking about how they're going to divide up their collection money and one of them says "I just throw it all up into the air. Whatever God catches, he can keep."

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Thank you, Steve Gutenberg.

[–] lingh0e@lemmy.film 1 points 2 years ago

Everyone takes offense to Fisher Stevens' offensive brownface act.

I take offense to the suggestion that such a shitty joke can be used to guage self awareness.

[–] drbi@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago (2 children)

What god?

[–] Seraph@kbin.social 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Zeus always was a jerk!

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 3 points 2 years ago

The best part of polytheistic religions is how relatable the gods are. One is a jerk, another the unloved child. Dad sleeps around, and Mom is either super forgiving, or runs Hell.

[–] Saneless@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

A major one

[–] rubicon@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 years ago

Oh...

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (4 children)

To be fair, the (Christian) Bible doesn't say you have to love God, only to ask forgiveness. Like you can be the biggest piece of shit on Earth, but if you apologize to God on your deathbed, it's cool.

[–] lemmyvore@feddit.nl 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Only if there's a priest there to hear it! 👆

[–] xintrik@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago

Jesus died so we don't need priests anymore 😊

Love that the creator of the universe is so fucking proud that it has to hurt itself in some weird masochistic ritual rather than admit that the creation wasn't perfect.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Martin Luther has this one weird trick to get forgiveness from God, and the Catholic church hates him!

[–] obligation_global@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What a system, it encourages bad behaviour and gives you an easy solution out? That's why it's fucked.

[–] HelloHotel@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago

"Ask for" is a low bar, "geuinely be sorry" isnt, i think most cristians repent for big stuff in the same way they would to the negbor for running over his cat.

[–] HellAwaits@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

That's not true. There are verses that say if you don't worship God, then you're a sinner.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Some would protest that hell isn’t really talked about in the Bible. But it sure is on every single page of the Koran.

[–] Rough_N_Ready@lemmy.world -4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

It’s mentioned quite a few times in psalms and proverbs, and Isaiah. And in Job and 2 Samuel, and deuteronomy.

Also, Jesus described what modern Christian’s consider hell. ‘Cast them into a furnace of fire; there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth’

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

True, but the main imagery that we as modern westerners have of "hell" is mostly from Dante's Inferno.

https://scholarworks.uno.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=3106&context=td

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

/u/Rough_N_Ready does bible.

[–] Rough_N_Ready@lemmy.world -2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Heh, you can say so. I actually run a website for cataloging criticisms of the Bible (and book of mormon): https://korihor.info/

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 1 points 2 years ago

Cool stuff!

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Thanks for that info! I don’t know the Bible well enough. Is that mostly Old Testament? Obvs. not the Jesus part.

[–] Rough_N_Ready@lemmy.world -2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yes it is all Old Testament.

[–] AceFuzzLord@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

Ah yes, the Old Testament. The book where if you did one thing God didn't like, you were eternally damned with no redemption.

[–] groats_survivor@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

I always that that was a religious leader made up thing

Can someone share specifically where it says that in the bible?

[–] labrat55@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Good being fair, compassionate, or good is not nearly as important as his being real.