this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2025
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 75 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Kids these days will use a bowl when they have two perfectly good hands.

[–] fnrir@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

Kids these days will ~~use a bowl~~ be multicellular and they don't remember the good 'ol days when we were single cell organisms.

something something the mitochondria is a liberal lie

/j

[–] casmael@lemm.ee 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Grog want know what make bowl good and hand bad. Hand not good last day? Hand good day and night, bowl come, bowl break, bowl go. Grog eat with hand, not bowl

[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

[Diogenes of Sinope] destroyed the single wooden bowl he possessed on seeing a peasant boy drink from the hollow of his hands. He then exclaimed: "Fool that I am, to have been carrying superfluous baggage all this time!"

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Guess the man wasn't a fan of leftovers

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 39 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I ate my dinner off of a piece of bread and my father ate his dinner off of a piece of bread and his father ate his dinner off of a pancake. I'll be damned if I use any of this modern "ceramics."

[–] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I’ve started eating my dinner between two pieces of bread. Very convenient!

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We should make you an earl and name some islands after you

[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 14 points 2 months ago

I had some lovely cucumber bluejay320s earlier today

[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

This is perfection. Perfection! Mark my words: Our dependents will do this for many winters to come, and beyond!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Insanity. But they do insane things on the Tin Island.

[–] TheImpressiveX@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago

And the best part? No need to wash the dishes!

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 26 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Clearly an improvement on the plate, as food was always falling off. And soup is just impossible!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

You just make a hole in your bread loaf and pour the soup in. What are you, a steppe nomad?

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's where I got the idea for the bowl!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Change is natural, persistent, and ongoing. Perfection, when it can be obtained, is fleeting. One of my favorite words, tinaja - a bowl like impression in rock that naturally gathers water. Someone saw that and said, "I can take this here mud, form it into that shape, and carry some water with me." You ask, "why change perfection?", and I suggest that trying to stop change is near to impossible.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm telling you. Bread with a hole in the middle. You can't eat a bowl.

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

Not with that attitude!

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 month ago

"You can't eat a bowl." skill issue

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Wait wait wait a second... What came first: the soup or the bowl?

[–] JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Strath@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

What is that? Like a tiny bowl with a handle?

[–] jared@mander.xyz 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A big mug is superior to a bowl.

[–] gnomesaiyan@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I used to be in the same boat. Then I discovered quilted bowl cozies.

[–] grysbok@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 2 months ago

Have you considered "cup bowl"? 2 cup bowls, with a standard mug and bowl for scale

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 months ago

Funny how that was news 6 years ago. Now it's just so normal

[–] satans_methpipe@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Cup water is hot new trend where you eat water out of cup.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

What's next, picking the food up from the 'bowl' with a tiny trident or a stick? What do these kids think they have hands for?