Monster96

Here's what happened in the span of two months. My aunts mom died due to a sickness. My uncle died due to sickness and basically giving up. My other aunt got diagnosed with the worst disease you can get so she's starting treatment. This morning, we just got the news that my grandma might be bedridden for the rest of her life due to a medical condition.

The one good thing, be it a tiny piece of good news, is that my dads existing condition is improving but that doesn't mean he's completely cured.

I don't know what's going on. I don't know why this is happening. Why is this happening all at once and close to Christmas no less? I tried to run away and go on vacation, which I am currently on right now, but even here we're getting all this bad news. Work is calling me. Doctors are calling my family members. It feels like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and no matter what I do, I can't get a rest.

Life blows. If this is what life is meant to be, I wouldn't have made an effort to make it this far. I should've just stayed in bed.

I recently rewatched the video of the woman on the plane screaming that the passenger beside her wasn't human and it got me thinking about something I've seen.

I remember seeing a teenage girl in a small food store I go to address the guy behind the counter as 'human'. "Thanks, human." Stuff like that. I think she was just doing a bit or something but I thought it was strange.

For me, it was a long talk I had with a random person on Omegle when that was a thing. I was bored one night so I decided to give it a try and I was matched with someone who I had nearly a 2 hour conversation with. We told jokes, told each other about ourselves, and talked like we were lifelong friends. But, we never did tell each other our names. I could've talked to this person all night but the interaction turned for the worst near the end. The person was depressed from what I gathered and the depression arose and the conversation fizzled out. I still think about them nearly 6 years later and hope that they are doing good whoever they were.

For example, I once saw a man throw his hat down in anger. He didn't stomp on it which was kind of a let down.

Actual video starts at 4:00

It's been almost 8 months since I graduated Uni. No one wants to hire a student with no experience. Been living in my parents basement for all that time. Been working nearly every single day trying to better myself for a job to no avail. Been drowning in debt for nearly 10 years. Mom hasn't been able to work due to health problems. Dad just diagnosed with the worst possible disease you can think about so he can't work. It all falls to me to work. Family had to resort to a social assistance to pay the basics requirement for bills. Owe Sister and aunts money. All my friends have moved away or too busy to talk or do anything. Last meaningful relationship, which entails just talking and doing nothing more, was about 5 years ago. And no matter what I do, who I turn to for help, how much I kill myself trying to get a job, how much I try to better this situation, it all ends up with another rejection email, another message left on read, another email with no response, and more debt that I can never repay back.

Yeah, I get why villains want to destroy the world in movies. The world sucks, everyone sucks, there's no good people in this world. Miracles don't exist, dreams are just imaginary, everyone doesn't care about you or what you're going through.

And like everything else I've tried doing to help, this won't get any attention. It seems like the universe forgot I existed or just made me to torment me. Because it just seems that I'm just a shadow in a dark place.

Forgotten and alone.

I used Procreate