Tweekerz

i usually have low energy and sometimes dissociate and can’t snap out of it

ok, so i'm generally kind to everything and everyone, but bugs, slugs, snails, etc. really bother me. i have intrusive thoughts and i really get the urge to kill these things and have in the past because i hate them. i'm scared that this is going to be the sign of a future serial killer because i also have the urge to kill and destroy things but i don't. it's not often i get the urge, but when i don't like something, i absolutely will lol

of course, i need help, not for someone who can say definitely, because only i can.

ok, so i'm born female, but i don't identify as such. honestly, i think i align myself somewhere on the "man" part of the spectrum, but i feel very "soft" and "tender", i guess that means i don't feel a sense of hypermasculinity or a strong sense of gender.

part of me seems to be male aligned and the other part just feels soft like i say, no specific gender. rather, i'd say a gender but not one that counts as male or female. since i can't express my gender, i say i'm just me, but i do get curious what gender i would count as. i'm just me in the end, but still.

i know you've all heard it before, but i didn't catch up, i was honestly a bit surprised when i was browsing and tesseract on dubvee shut down.

i feel like satan or some demon is inside me like i said. i must repent. i must pay for my sins. i must make an offering to the lord. idk why i feel this way. 😭

i remember my friends and i would say "he repented her" instead of sexual assault/rape because it was "lighter", and because some places like school may have banned the word.

i'm genuinely starting to believe that some sort of demon or satan himself is inside me. i know it's not real and i should get help, which i am getting, but i just needed some comfort or perhaps anecdotes. no criticism please and i don't think i need advice, i'm getting help and i will talk to someone. it feels like a demon is giving me urges to say mean things i normally wouldnt say. i'm crazy aren't i?

i just need comfort or perhaps someone share similar experiences.

i tend to say "YAYY" a lot when something good happens, if that counts, but i say it like a lot.