You can have pockets without pants with the skin pocket procedure. You get a pocket sized square of skin removed from each ass cheek, and grafted on to the outside of your thighs. Don't worry about the sting on the buttocks, two ice packs will be provided for relief until the skin heals.
Now you can wear long sweaters without pants and still have pockets!
We're mentally done for the season. Good thing this game isn't particularly important.