ada

Ok, let me give you another produce perspective.

I had breast augmentation and it's been a huge source of joy.

But something else that's a source of joy for me is seeing the goofy smile of joy on a trans guys face, when he shares a photo of the first time he went swimming topless after top surgery.

You don't need to assume talking about the things you want will make other folk unhappy just because they don't want it. Play it by ear and respect people's boundaries if they do express discomfort and you'll be fine.

Which brings me to my conundrum. Is it wrong to identify with a label if there is no way of achieving it? Like if there is no surgical possibility of transitioning to the body that I want, am I still trans?

I can not say this loudly enough, but fuck yes you are!

You don't have to use the label if it doesn't feel right for you, but if it does, it's yours for the taking. Being trans is about who you are, not what you do. Being trans or gender diverse is about saying "This whole sex and gender thing you've assigned me, yeah, it's not working for me". And that's you. What you do with your experiences is up to you, but the experiences are there and they're real, no matter what your external circumstances.

All the trans women I've known and loved have hated their og anatomy, and I felt like it would be insulting to say that was what I wanted for my body when they fought so hard to get rid of it.

Not at all! What they wanted was bodily autonomy! And that's what you want!

And again, to bring a personal experience in to this, the person who helped me understand who I am, and accept who I am is a trans guy. He was the first trans person I'd ever spoken to, and what struck me was that despite his experience being the "opposite" of mine, he was also the first person I'd ever spoken to who understood what I was saying, who I didn't have to explain myself to. He just got it.

Which is to say, in the gender diverse community, the stuff we have is common is far greater than the differences. The experience of each gender diverse person is unique, but at the same time, just like so many others before them!

I'll avoid it anyway as I'd be scared of feeling like I'm insulting their masculinity by wanting something for myself that the surgery just isn't advanced enough yet to provide for actual men like them.

Yeah, that is something you need to be careful of. Not yucking on other peoples yum. But you can still talk about it. You can talk about your own hesitations, and you can ask them how they feel about the same things you're concerned about. Rather than "I don't want to do it because it's not perfect", you can ask them to talk about their own relationship with bottom surgery, given that it's not perfect. You can talk about your own concerns and anxiety, without positioning your experience as the one true perspective. They know it's not perfect. But they do it anyway. And honestly, it sounds like hearing the perspective of someone in that position would be really helpful to you!

Well, that was the first PewDiePie video I've ever watched...

Strange that he didn't mention leaving YouTube behind though!

The truth is, no one can tell you, except for you, and often we ourselves don't know. There is no single label used to describe what you're talking about. It can be a form of non binary experience, but that involves your experience of gender, it isn't just about the physical. There's "altersex", which doesn't speak to gender at all, but it's not widely understood, and is also popular with transmedicalists who try and gatekeep other folks validity, so it can carry some unwanted assumptions in people who do recognise it.

And honestly, there is the possibility that it's not "just about genitals". There could be more to this than you're willing to admit, even to yourself.

I was similar to you. I'm a trans woman, and I spent so much of my earlier life literally wishing that I was trans specifically so I could access bottom surgery. If I could have had surgery than magically changed me down stairs, but changed nothing else, I'd have jumped at it. But, of course, there was more to it than that, I was just deep in denial... That's not to say your experience will be the same as mine. I just want to raise it as a possibility for you to think about.

It's a lot of words, but honestly, my advice is to just use whatever feels right, but without getting attached to the specific label. Use it as long as it feels right, but if it stops feeling right, give yourself permission to change it. And that's true even if the label you end up with is "cis woman who wants a dick". As long as the label is working for you, rather than against you, it's the right label

In the day, nothing matters!

I use PieFed rather than lemmy as my default these days, but the answer is the same for both. I love that they're community driven, community hosted federated spaces that let people find the experience they want, and that they're strongly resistant to corporate takeover and centralisation.

What I don't like so much is the increase in debate bro type folk that are slowly drifting over from reddit. Of course, they're at least partly dealt with by the things I mentioned earlier, but still, I wish we could undo some of the in your face debating attitudes that people have been trained to default to by toxic social media

I don't like there is no way to get notification (subscribe to) a post to see new replies that come in after I've read the post for the first time..

I've moved to PieFed now as my default instance instead of lemmy, and this is one of the main reasons why! And you can do it at the community level as well, to be notified when a new post is made to a given community

I started it, and enjoyed (but didn't love) the first two seasons. But then we hit season 3... And I am trying to force myself to continue watching, but I'm not sure I can...

I love time travel stories too, but I absolutely can't stand time travel stories that create infinite worlds, or branching timelines etc, because all they do is reduce the actions and events of the story to irrelevancy. So, for the first two season, I really enjoyed how the show was a time travel story, but it never really let you know what was happening as a result of the actions in the show. Was the future changed? Or was everything we were seeing how it had always played out?

And then we get to season 3... And suddenly, we have a split timeline the old world is destroyed, and literally everyone those characters knew and cared about is gone, and the future she had been fighting to return to is erased. And none of them really care about that. The sheer trauma of losing an entire universe is brushed over like its nothing. And I just know that now they've done one timeline divergence, there are more of them waiting either in this season or the next...

I was so close to giving up on it, until I read some spoilers in the comments that mentions she joins liber8, and I think that will keep me going, because after all of this, it will be good to see here finally click...

Fair, but the person who submitted this isn't just a random user, they're flaired as part of the packaging team

I mean, people still defend Rowling's work, and use Hyprland, so this shouldn't surprise me, but somehow, it still does...

There are better ways of convincing non involved participants than debate, especially it's an argument around human rights, bigotry, transphobia, racism etc. Getting in to a debate normalises the idea that "both sides" of these arguments have similar validity and value.