caseyweederman

I took the Mal Blum avenue and ended up with Great Grandpa. Highly recommend.

It's like a crush but platonic

filkthylfenidate

You can take em—dash out of my cold dead hands

Oh. Couches.

Uhhh, you could try mewithoutYou, Neutral Milk Hotel, or maybe Cloud Cult? Those are all pretty close, but on slightly different axes.

Who reigns from the Court of the Crimson King?

President of the fan club up there choking on his tears

Today. Tomorrow's batch won't be ready until tomorrow.

Does ritalin have time-release yet? Hell of a spike if not.

Name-brand Concerta, which is methylphenidate packaged in some proprietary time-delay system. The time-delay system is crucial, because you extremely do not want the full dosage dumped into your system all at once, or in irregular batches, and apparently the off-brand manufacturers just haven't cracked it. I don't think that's just propaganda.

Also: I hope you live in a place where medication is covered. :/

"I don't put oil in my car. It's not natural."
Everyone's brains have cells that manufacture dopamine, receptors that detect dopamine levels, and cleaner proteins that keep your brain from just being full of dopamine all the time.
My cleaner proteins are overpowered, so the dopamine is rarely in my brain long enough to get detected, so I don't get the "good job sport/hamster treat button" reward feeling unless the dopamine burst is REALLY STRONG, like the first few times I accomplish or learn something new.
That's why I struggle with brushing my teeth or doing the dishes or making it to appointments on time or doing my homework, but I thrive off of picking up new hobbies that I'm sure I'll stick with, this time, and not drop the moment I didn't spend a bunch of money on tools and materials for, like all the previous hobbies.
It's why I literally cannot form habits.
So I take a medication that inhibits those dopamine vacuums. The dopamine gets produced and gets to stick around long enough in my brain juices that the receptors can take a meaningful poll of my levels. Now when I press the button, the hamster treat comes out!
For decades I thought I was just lazy, and bad, because everyone around me was telling me that I just needed to apply myself. So much potential. It turns out my brain is just too good at one very narrowly specific thing that makes it hard for me to be good at anything.
And meditation or cutting back on sugar or just pushing through it, none of that did a goddamn thing because it's not a moral failure, it's not that I'm not trying, it's that my brain needs a little help managing chemicals.