thefartographer

Oh, I'm gonna make sure you die on that hill!

First, by building you a lovely house on that hill and a nearby Denny's...

And mole! If you've never had mole, having it for the first time in Oaxaca will ruin you as you'll never find anything that compares again.

What a coincidence! I specifically don't live there!

That's a ridiculous thing to say. When haven't we relied on a foreign workforce to do our work for us?

Look at him there... Teasing all the furniture with his tight pants and skiiiiiiinnnn.....

Yeah, that guy holding a gun to your head? Ignore him. Anything else is woke.

Egads! Do you ever get the feeling of deja Vu? Something like...

Republican-X will fuck issue-Y after promising to not fuck issue-Y.

Maybe the problems aren't the issues... Maybe there's something other common factor that should instead get fucked?

You should consider having more polite thieves. You wouldn't be friends with an asshole, right? So why are you letting yourself get robbed by one?

SMHing my head

When I dispose of my hard drives, I encrypt whatever data is on it with a drill. I've also used an AR-15, a .45 1911, an axe, and a screwdriver.

It turns out you reasonably prevent unintentional data leaks with almost anything and a can-do attitude.

Sure, I could encrypt the data using software. But hear me out: bzzz, bang bang, whomp, clink clink clink.

DO look up! It'll be glorious

Uhhh... How many residents of Gulf of Mexico's Northern Neighbors and Their Friends did you poll? I'm guessing the number is either zero or "enough to get the answer you wanted."

We've grown beyond embarrassed. It's embarrassing when you're sat at a table with a child who loudly announces that they've shat themselves. But now we're at the point where that child hired their friends to hold you hostage while they rub shit on everyone else at the table.

We still are a bit embarrassed, but now we're mostly disgusted, depressed, and terrified.

Not if we don't wake up!