Ask Lemmy

28646 readers

1225 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

6) No US Politics.

Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

candyman337@lemmy.world

Bluetreefrog@lemmy.world

TheSaneWriter@lemm.ee

TheSaneWriter@lemmy.thesanewriter.com

candyman337@sh.itjust.works

Asudox@lemmy.world

lemmy_bot@lemmy.world

beefbaby182@lemmy.world

asudox@discuss.tchncs.de

ModeratorCan@lemmy.world

shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee

neidu3@sh.itjust.works

KaneLivesInDeath@lemmy.world

asudox@lemmy.asudox.dev

is it wrong to ask a former coworker for help getting in touch with a hiring manager (lemm.ee)

submitted 20 hours ago by GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

28 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm looking for a job. I saw Alice works at ACME brick. Bob knows Alice. Bob and I used to work together. I asked Bob if he could introduce me to Alice so I can ask Alice 1) for help getting in touch with the hiring manager and 2) what the company culture is like. Bob said yes and I asked Alice my questions, with Bob CC'ed in the message.

This has seemed OK with most people. However Bob said my conversation with Alice seemed one sided and excessive and like I was taking advantage of him just to get to the hiring manager. I am, correctly, asking for help getting to the hiring manager, for inside info. I am not only asking that, but it is part of what I'm asking. I am also asking about company culture and advice when talking to the interviewer. Bob was very upset and I think I've burned that bridge.

Is this wrong, in general? Is it OK but not asking too often? Most people seemed to be OK with it, but I worry they were just being polite and I've been unknowingly pissing off my entire social life and hurting my chances at getting a job. (why yes, I do have anxiety and take meds.)

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] MelonYellow@lemmy.ca 5 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

I don't think it's wrong necessarily, it just depends on the vibes of the email. Also Bob's relation to Alice may have intricacies you aren't aware of. How friendly is he with her, and what exactly did he say to her? Apparently Bob thought you went overboard with the questioning. I wouldn't dwell too much on it, but just saying personal relations can be tricky.

Me I prefer to do things more informally. For example, I could let Bob talk to Alice and get back to me himself. Of course that's inconveniencing Bob and I'd super owe him one. Or if Bob gave me Alice's contact info (after he told her what was going on and she consented), I'd just reach out to her on my own. Send a text or something. Also idk about your line of work, but some people are weird about emails lol. Some wanna do things through email, some by text/phone.