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this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2025
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The year is 1997. A young boy is about to watch a porn video for the first time on a grainy VHS tape. An older version of himself from the far off year of 2025 appears.
Me: "You know, in the future, you'll make your own porn videos."
90s me: "Wow, you mean I'll get to have lots of hot sex!?!?"
Me: "Ha! No. So Nvidia will release this system called CUDA..."
I thought this was going to go Watchmen for a moment. Like...
It is 1997, I am a young boy, I am jerking off to a grainy porno playing over stolen cinemax.
It is 2007, i am in my dorm, i am jerking off to a forum thread full of hi-res porno.
It is 2027, i am jerking off to an ai porno stream that mutates to my desires in real time. I am about to nut so hard that it shatters my perception of time.
The AI camera will still zoom in on the guys nuts as you’re about to bust tho.
Where were you in 2017?
I figured rule of threes meant it was funnier to leave it out. 2017 would have been sad gooning to pornhub during the first trump nightmare.
Then 2027 could be sad gooning to ai hyperporn during the second trump nightmare.
Maybe I should have used 20 year jumps, but "2037, I am jerking off because there's no food, and the internet is nothing but ai porn.' didn't seem as funny a point for the "time shattering" bit.
Went to college
Oops the stream hallucinated and mutated into a horror show with women with nipples that are mouths and dicks with eyeballs.
I cannot for the life of me find it, but there was an article before the modern explosion of ML into the public consciousness where a guy found that one of the big search engines offered an API to "rate" nsfw images on a numeric scale. The idea was that site admins could use it to automatically filter content with a bit more granularity.
So naturally, he trained a naive image generating model with the nsfw score as the sole metric of success, and got results much like you describe. Results were pretty much "what if Dali and kronenberg had a baby with slaanesh?"
Go on...
“Nothing else excites me anymore” - 2027 you, probably
Did I stutter?
Then another company called Deepseek will release a system called low level programming that replaces CUDA.