this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2025
1109 points (98.3% liked)

196

4779 readers
743 users here now

Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.


Rule: You must post before you leave.



Other rules

Behavior rules:

Posting rules:

NSFW: NSFW content is permitted but it must be tagged and have content warnings. Anything that doesn't adhere to this will be removed. Content warnings should be added like: [penis], [explicit description of sex]. Non-sexualized breasts of any gender are not considered inappropriate and therefore do not need to be blurred/tagged.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact us on our matrix channel or email.

Other 196's:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] killingspark@feddit.org 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's not the issue and you are failing to understand that. I agree with you. But the first comment said that that is the same form and level of consent needed that is needed for sex and that's just not true.

It is. Asking someone, "Do you mind if I talk about this?" is cognitively and calorically the same as , "Can I kiss you?" "Do you like this?" "Is this okay?"

The damage done by unwanted sexual talk can be significant- eg Trump saying he and Ivanka have sex in common on Wendy Williams, or how he'd be dating her if she wasn't his daughter on Howard Stern.

This is different than physical sexual abuse which not only has psychological harm (as before), it also has physical harm.

In general, having a light hearted conversation with friends whose general boundaries you're already aware of, isn't a big deal, just like saying "hey, everyone is cool with this right?" is also not a big deal to actually do but is still important.

Like I'm getting all this pushback for recommending people consider saying "You all good with this?" Lol