this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2025
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It is. Asking someone, "Do you mind if I talk about this?" is cognitively and calorically the same as , "Can I kiss you?" "Do you like this?" "Is this okay?"
The damage done by unwanted sexual talk can be significant- eg Trump saying he and Ivanka have sex in common on Wendy Williams, or how he'd be dating her if she wasn't his daughter on Howard Stern.
This is different than physical sexual abuse which not only has psychological harm (as before), it also has physical harm.
In general, having a light hearted conversation with friends whose general boundaries you're already aware of, isn't a big deal, just like saying "hey, everyone is cool with this right?" is also not a big deal to actually do but is still important.
Like I'm getting all this pushback for recommending people consider saying "You all good with this?" Lol