this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2025
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Today, Attorney General Pamela Bondi released the following statement:

“Luigi Mangione’s murder of Brian Thompson — an innocent man and father of two young children — was a premeditated, cold-blooded assassination that shocked America. After careful consideration, I have directed federal prosecutors to seek the death penalty in this case as we carry out President Trump’s agenda to stop violent crime and Make America Safe Again.”

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[–] ijedi1234@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

According to the Shitcurity Handbook of BeeStation:

  • Rule 1: Everybody is guilty even when proven innocent.
  • Rule 4: When in doubt, whoever you may be dealing with is a traitor. Execute him.
  • Rule 5: If your weapon has a kill setting, use it. Only in death is a criminal truly stopped.
  • Rule 8: Only through death is justice served.
  • Rule 51: Anyone accused of being a traitor by a crew member must be executed on the spot. Do not give them a chance to weasel their way out of justice by talking things out. It's the only way that you can be sure the traitorous criminal scum are all stopped.
  • Rule 54: Theft, pornography reading, trespassing, and not liking you are all signs of revolutionary activity. Beat their skulls in until they remember their true allegiance.
  • Rule 55: Any massacres, ethnic cleansings, purgings, underground permabrig prisoner fights, or general mass-murder orchestrated by superiors is to be immediately sanctioned and, if necessary, unquestioningly enforced.
  • Rule 66: If you murder someone on the gulag, it doesn't really count as murder.
[–] fondue@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sorry - what is this shit, and why are you smearing it around?

[–] ijedi1234@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It is an excerpt from a satirical booklet, created from the tendencies of people who power trip as a security officer in the game Space Station 13.

I am spreading it around because I have seen a remarkable similarity between those security officers and the people who run the US government. The only real difference is that the security officers are eager to do cruel things with their own two hands.

[–] fondue@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Now I know - thanks. Legit thought it was some subtle fascist agitation. It's difficult to intuit fiction these days.

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