this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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Some new ones:
Lending - the real way to make gold.
Dust - makes everything a little cleaner.
Lust - makes everything a lot dirtier.
Bare - put that back on.
Lightning Lute - lets bards play Dragonforce.
Lightning Lube - lets bards do other things.
Massage - see above.
Child Touch - why don't you have a seat over there.
Fire Colt - impractical to ride, but looks badass.
Fine Bolt - produces some excellent cloth.
Sopping Sting - material component: towel.
Cause Tear - material component: onion.
Thundercrap - makes everything a lot dirtier.
Compelled Duet - the bard ropes you into a musical.
Defect Magic - counterspell, but funnier.
Dog Cloud - oh gods, who fed him cheese?
Inflict Sounds - I cast tinnitus!
Wild Canning - preserves food.
Arr Bubble - everyone in range talks like a pirate.
Zine Of Truth - mimeographed to fight the man!
Animate Lead - it's just a gun.
Speak With Deaf - need your hands free.
Wall of Wafer - ineffective, but delicious.
Egg Whip - stiff peaks!
Heath Ward - man, fuck that guy.
Magic Bar - goes well with Tending.
Glyph of Carding - let's see some ID, "halfling."
Wine Walk - after hitting the Magic Bar.
Soul Cafe - much more relaxing.
Wash - finally, everything is clean.