this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 3 points 21 hours ago

Some new ones:

Lending - the real way to make gold.

Dust - makes everything a little cleaner.

Lust - makes everything a lot dirtier.

Bare - put that back on.

Lightning Lute - lets bards play Dragonforce.

Lightning Lube - lets bards do other things.

Massage - see above.

Child Touch - why don't you have a seat over there.

Fire Colt - impractical to ride, but looks badass.

Fine Bolt - produces some excellent cloth.

Sopping Sting - material component: towel.

Cause Tear - material component: onion.

Thundercrap - makes everything a lot dirtier.

Compelled Duet - the bard ropes you into a musical.

Defect Magic - counterspell, but funnier.

Dog Cloud - oh gods, who fed him cheese?

Inflict Sounds - I cast tinnitus!

Wild Canning - preserves food.

Arr Bubble - everyone in range talks like a pirate.

Zine Of Truth - mimeographed to fight the man!

Animate Lead - it's just a gun.

Speak With Deaf - need your hands free.

Wall of Wafer - ineffective, but delicious.

Egg Whip - stiff peaks!

Heath Ward - man, fuck that guy.

Magic Bar - goes well with Tending.

Glyph of Carding - let's see some ID, "halfling."

Wine Walk - after hitting the Magic Bar.

Soul Cafe - much more relaxing.

Wash - finally, everything is clean.