RPGMemes

Healing Wood

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Sure... Repairs damage to doors and furniture...

Can't wait to shred a mother fucker with pieces of broken pottery!

I would like to buy like.... 30 scrolls of Tenser's Floating Dick please.

Arcane Dye - for when you don't want to worry about mixing your whites with your reds.

Healing Ward - blocks all heal effects on the target.

Heap Metal - for when you don't feel like paying a hireling to collect the gear of that bandit camp you just slaughtered.

Antilife Spell - wait, I guess that's just Power Word Kill...

Burning Lands - when Fireball just isn't Fireball-y enough for you.

Chromatic Orc - summons an orc ally. A different color each time you cast the spell.

Control Hater - a more powerful version of Command that only works on things that are currently hostile to you.

Fire Stork - that wizard must have really hated storks. Incinerates the nearest stork.

Fig Cloud - an alternative to Hero's Feast for vegan parties.

Glyph of Barding - acts as armor for your horses.

Prismatic Ball - hold on, I've been notified this was just a mistranslation of Chromatic Orb. Never mind.

Rope Brick - this is what you get when you let the Barbarian make spells.

Sheep - conjures a sheep.

Stonespin - does what it says on the tin.

Runbeam - force the target to move their full speed every turn.

Rime Stop - I was kicked from a table after bringing this into a Rime of the Frostmaiden campaign.

Wash - why would you spend a 9th level spell on Prestidigitation?

Counterspill - put any liquid back into its container. Potions included.

Oh man, that would be so useful. Oil spills, railcars, spilled milk, the possibilities are endless

Some new ones:

Lending - the real way to make gold.

Dust - makes everything a little cleaner.

Lust - makes everything a lot dirtier.

Bare - put that back on.

Lightning Lute - lets bards play Dragonforce.

Lightning Lube - lets bards do other things.

Massage - see above.

Child Touch - why don't you have a seat over there.

Fire Colt - impractical to ride, but looks badass.

Fine Bolt - produces some excellent cloth.

Sopping Sting - material component: towel.

Cause Tear - material component: onion.

Thundercrap - makes everything a lot dirtier.

Compelled Duet - the bard ropes you into a musical.

Defect Magic - counterspell, but funnier.

Dog Cloud - oh gods, who fed him cheese?

Inflict Sounds - I cast tinnitus!

Wild Canning - preserves food.

Arr Bubble - everyone in range talks like a pirate.

Zine Of Truth - mimeographed to fight the man!

Animate Lead - it's just a gun.

Speak With Deaf - need your hands free.

Wall of Wafer - ineffective, but delicious.

Egg Whip - stiff peaks!

Heath Ward - man, fuck that guy.

Magic Bar - goes well with Tending.

Glyph of Carding - let's see some ID, "halfling."

Wine Walk - after hitting the Magic Bar.

Soul Cafe - much more relaxing.

Wash - finally, everything is clean.

I just realized that it bothers me that Slow and Plow don't rhyme.

Mending -> Rending

Leomund's Tiny Hut -> Leomund's Tiny Hun or Leomund's Tony Hut

Charm Person -> Harm Person

Alter Self -> Alter Elf

Ragyo Kiryuin definitely has one of the best personal themes in all of anime https://youtu.be/6M1UU53Y4LE

Damn, now I need to rewatch Kill la Kill

Replied to a comment instead of the thread like an idiot. Ignore me