this post was submitted on 24 May 2025
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I’ve never heard anyone suggest otherwise. Who are you having this argument with?
I was curious what they meant, too.
I have wondered if there is some mixing of non-stereotypical gender roles and gender identity. Like, if someone who grew up in the 90s and identified as a “tomboy” might consider themselves transmale or transmasculine if they grew up in the 2020s. But I don’t know enough to make any assumptions about this. Also it’s none of my business, really. It probably depends on the individual and how they see themselves.
(I do know JK Rowling has used a similar complaint in her TERFy ranting, which is why I tend to couch such curiosity in careful wording as best I am able.)
It’s not unusual to say something less controversial than what you wish you could say, so it tracks that someone who wants to say “I’m a boy” would say “I’m a girl who isn’t girly” in a time where the truth is presented as less of an option than it is today. It’s not that trans guys and tomboys are the same thing, it’s that the same label can be either true or a euphemism when applied to different people.
What gets me about the original post is it looks like it’s saying I as an unambiguously masculine man could wear a dress and be called ma’am by a stranger and when I respond “I get why you’d say that but I’m actually a man wearing a dress” then there’s an expectation the stranger might respond “don’t be ridiculous, that’s not a real thing. You’re obviously a trans woman.” I just don’t see this kind of scenario playing out.