this post was submitted on 30 May 2025
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I used to be a programmer and now I fix cars professionally, I feel like half of my professional life has been gazing upon some ancient work of dark magic and cussing loudly because I know I'm about to have to go in.
The line between jank and wizardry is sometimes blurry. The best magic has a little bit of jank in it, and the worst jank is sometimes a little bit magical.
In high school, I got in a car wreck and had to drive without a front bumper for about a year. When the bumper got torn away, it also took the light housings for my blinkers and running lights.
My dad made new housings with zip ties and soda cans cut in half that attached to the back of lenses we bought cheap at the local auto parts store. He drilled slightly undersized holes in the bottom of the cans that held the bulbs in place when they were pushed through, and he'd polished the inside of the cans to act as reflectors.
It worked great! When we eventually got the bumper replaced, the body guy shop was amazed and said he didn't see any reason why we should spend the money to buy factory housings, and when we sold that car it still had store-brand diet sprite cans as light housings that surely confused the hell out of someone down the line.
I once had a broken headlight and also broke pockets, so I grabbed some packing tape and made a new one. I was at an AutoZone and the guy looked at my car, looked at me and said "that won't last past the first storm" to which my response was "it's held up for three months. I'll take my chances." and it held up until the seals on the transmission blew out after driving it across the country again.
Gazing upon skill beyond your comprehension: How the fuck does this work?
Gazing at unholy fuckery: How the fuck does this WORK?
As someone guilty od doing unholy fuckery from time to time, I often look at my own work like that
How does that happen, if you don't mind me asking?
Lost my job around 2017 and it was real difficult to get a new one in the tech sector without a college degree. I lucked in to the one originally through professional connections. No such luck the next time after I got downsized.
So I ended up working at my local auto parts store to make ends meet in the meantime, and figured out that I actually really like fixing cars. It exercises the same sort of problem solving capacity but the problems you solve are usually a little less arcane. Made a few new connections including a guy who worked at an actual garage, got offered a position at that garage if I wanted it, and the rest is history.
I still dabble in programming as a hobby, but I enjoy working with my hands and the feeling of fixing a physical object is more fulfilling to me than fixing software. So here I stay (for now).
Carpenter coder here. I like saving my code powers for my own beloved projects.
if it's jank, and it works, it ain't jank.
The definition of jank is that it at least sorta works.
If it doesn't its not jank its just broken.
If it's jank and it works, it's jank and you're lucky
I just gave up and used copper RTV on the uneven collector pipes on a flat 4 engine. There was no way to properly align the left and right headers to the collector besides just fucking cranking on the bolts as a clamp held them in alignment.
I felt shame for that one, and it’s off to the inspection station Monday now that it doesn’t leak. But you can see the Rtv sticking out. I give it a summer before it fails again. At best.