this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2025
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Being single and childless is the best decision I ever made in life. Good on her for never having to do anything she doesn't want to do.
I am single and childless. A few years ago I started driving a school bus - it has made me simultaneously regret never having kids and thrilled to the fucking core that I never had kids.
I just walked my dogs through a shopping district and stopped at a store that gives out puppy treats.
There were two siblings screaming and fighting. I felt bad for the parents, but relieved for myself.
Ditto. I'd 100% rather be alone than with someone that wasn't right for me and I've NEVER wanted to be a mum.
I grew up in a big family so I did a lot of parenting without my consent and never had that romantic veneer about parenthood that some people do.
Parentification of kids can be really destructive there's loads of research into it. It's especially destructive when it's against someone's consent, eg it can cause hostility between family members. How's it effected you long term?
In a lot of ways.
My parents are 80 and still working (for DoorDash) because they parented so many, requiring them to spend, and never saved. This creates a massive burden on my siblings and I, and in fact, they've 'borrowed' my car for over a year to work. I can wake up on any random day and there's a plumbing problem in their house or the A/C goes out, and suddenly, we have to find a few thousand bucks to fix it because they don't have it.
I started my adult life $3,000 in debt, having let my mom use my credit card to pay for some tickets to Universal Studios on a vacation. She promised to repay it, but only made payments when debt collectors called, so the debt notched up for two years until I graduated and realized just how bad it was. (I am glad this happened while I was so young, though, because I became financially literate as a result.)
My siblings' ages cross generational boundaries, so it's hard for us to have healthy relationships being the products of very different times.
My mom and dad don't have any organic friendships, because my dad had to work his entire life and has no time, and my mom is only happy when mothering someone. (And she has dozens of grandkids, so there's still opportunities for that.)
I know it's harsh and I'll be down voted into oblivion, but, you do not owe anything to your parents.
True, but if the shoe is ever on the other foot, I'd like someone to help me when I'm helpless.
That's a lot of financial stress over your life and the sad truth is that life costs money. You need money to cope. Big age gaps cause a lot of difficulties cos you're in really different places, it's rough
I'm 30 and freshly out of a 10 year relationship and wow I had no idea life could be so stress free lmao
Man, I had the complete opposite experience. I had a nervous breakdown, fought like hell to make it work, caught her cheating over and over again, lost my mind completely.
Then, when I couldn’t take anymore and had spent a night out looking for her when she failed to get back home after a concert, only for her to show up the next afternoon with a hickey on her neck, I decided enough was enough.
I went out with a girl who had been asking me out for a while, fell in love, and moved on.
She lost her damn mind and tried to get me to come back, but it was too late. She ended up committed to a hospital, then after a fight on her end to fix things she ended up with the last guy she cheated with and then died from cancer a few years later.
Fortunately he turned out to be a great guy and took care of her through it all.
It’s crazy how fast everything has gone since then. I’ve been with the girl I mentioned above for nearly a decade, we have children, and still have passion.
I felt like I had spent a thousand years with my ex. If started when I was around 18 and ended when I was around 32. We lived together for 10 years.
This last decade has gone by in a minute, and I can’t believe I will have lived with my wife for longer than I ever lived with anyone just around the corner.
I believe that I am better prepared to deal with such chaos now, but I hope I never have to again.
Man, I could write a book on the chaos that was my ex.
The first chapter would open up with the story about us just being very close friends, and her telling me that when she turned 18 she’d move in with me. Well, the day came and she did just that, packed her bags and showed up to my place in the middle of the night.
About 4 days later I got a call at work, “If you don’t bring my daughter home tonight, you will have hell to pay.”
“Oh yeah!?” I replied. “Well, she’s 18 now and she doesn’t have to be your fucking prisoner anymore, bitch! Have a good life!” click
Phone rings again, “Listen! I don’t know what my goddamn headache of a daughter has told you, but she just turned 17. My advice to you would be to call someone to come take your shift and get in your ugly little car, and bring my daughter home now or rot in jail!”
Uh oh. I did just that. She cried all the way home. Her mom told me if she ever seen my car in her driveway again, I’d go to jail. I had the apology letter my ex wrote me for years, but she burned the box of letters when we split. It went something like, “I’m really sorry I lied to you. I thought you were awesome when we met and I thought you wouldn’t talk to me if you had known my actual age. Time went by and it became more embarrassing and harder to deal with. I didn’t think my mom cared if I left. I didn’t think she’d even try to get me to come back home. I’m never there, and she never cares.”
That should have been it, but one year later she showed up with her bags again. We lived together as friends for months, slept in the same queen size bed under our own blankets. One night we moved on each other and that was all she wrote.
Man, that isn’t even the craziest story with her haha. But it was always something like that. She lied about EVERYTHING. I believed her father was a lawyer for the first 5 years of our relationship. Turns out he was a mechanic. He’s actually been a meme for the last few years, but I don’t want to dox myself. You have definitely seen the meme, I can say that much. He became a meme for something really, really dumb too.
All the years I was with her, I didn’t meet him until her funeral. I feel guilty, but I said that out loud when I shook is hand. “It’s crazy that your granddaughter is 13 and we’re meeting you for the first time at her mom’s funeral.” You could tell it hurt him, and I still lose sleep over that because I wouldn’t want someone to say something like that to my father and I doubt he’d even be at my funeral.
Sorry for the book. I’ll stop now.
Your story sounds like it belongs to the podcast Everyone Has an Ex. 😅 What is it with these crazy people lying to their dates? And for what?
Man, it got so crazy at the end it was unfuckingbelievable.
She went around telling people I beat and raped her, all kinds of things.
If there wasn’t something wrong with my brain I’d be terrified to ever do it again.
It caused me to seriously believe that any long lasting relationship only lasts because one of the two always has their head in the sand.
Even after all of that, I’m still who I always was. I do not spy on my wife, I respect her privacy. I never even have the desire to go digging.
I can’t help but wonder though, if I did would everything come crashing down.
As long as she’s smart enough to keep it from being blatant, I’ll never know. That’s how my ex got away with so much chaos over the years. I never once looked. She got too confident with one though, either confident or impatient. She slipped up and told easily verifiable lies. “I’m house sitting for my sister.” The only time she was ever asked to do that. Didn’t make sense. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just watching Shameless on Netflix and I keep falling asleep.” Nothing had been played for days on Netflix.
When I caught her red handed with a guy, she told me to my face that he was a gay friend of her sister. He couldn’t even look at me. She said the car he was driving was her sister’s car. Same color, different make and model, tags from another state.
And my god, the people all around me who knew, smiled and waved, and never said a word.
It just blows my mind. It really does.
I have no idea how I managed to trust anyone enough to ever do this again.
Yeah my ex was only ever in my life out of her own sheer convenience. And when I left her a bunch of other people in my life also revealed themselves. I'll probably never get over it and I'll probably never trust a woman ever again. But man, being alone is so fucking easy. I wish I left her ages ago. Turns out alcohol was never my problem it was just people.
That's funny, because that's what I say about men as a gay man. Fuck dating altogether.
Yeah I wouldn't trust a man either after what I went through. People are in general, no good.
I've had my heart broken enough times too, but at the end of the day, I've just found I enjoy my freedom more than I enjoy being with someone. It's that simple.