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this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2025
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Being an asshole implies confidence.
Women like confidence.
Inexperience and young girls mistake being a dick with confidence
Also, young people often are bad at determining how impressive someone is so they go off the social cues of just believing that they're acting genuinely in line with their status. This means someone moderately attractive treating 21 year olds like they're just barely worth their time can often get anything from sex to unpaid overtime if they sell it well and are indiscriminately fishing.
Most people grow out of it, but some don't. Then there's also that the pool isn't a representative sample of the population. The mature and discriminate are easy to miss (they filter heavily), more likely to leave low investment pools like tinder because the effort/value proposition is bad, and when they leave because of relationships will take longer to return to the pool. It's not that all the good ones are taken, its that most of the bad ones are looking.
Alright alright alright
Certain women like asshole confidence. Typically the type to write "I'm a bitch, deal with it" in their bios
I've known many women who were very nice and intelligent, who dated assholes. Usually they end the relationship thinking "ugh, why did I do that? That guy was such an asshole."
They do this because women are human, and do the very human thing of making mistakes and regretting them.
sometimes you dont realise theyre an asshole until youre already a year plus deep
Yeah, new relationship energy will fucking get you sometimes
yeah im still feeling the repercussions of the one i went through 5 years after it ended
Big if true
I find that spanning inferential distances is typically best accomplished by starting from obvious facts. When you say something that sounds dumb because it is so obvious, you've found a good starting point for creating shared understanding.
Bad/terrible people can be hot. In fact, often when people are hot they feel more free to be their natural asshole selves because they can get away with it more. This applies to both men and women in all directions.
In fact, some people want their partner to be mean to them, its more often hetero women who like that. If a guy can be mean and get away with it, that implies they're hot shit, extremely confident, rich, and/or powerful. Those are attractive features in a guy.
There are also hetero men who want women to be mean to them, especially in the bedroom.
I can find no fault with anything you just said. Except maybe that having a thing for being abused spans all genders and sexual identities.
The women that like arseholes, believe it or not, are also probably arseholes.
I wonder if there are more assholes than normal people, so that it only seems that assholes are more successful in dating because there are simply more of them.
It can work by sampling biases. Let's say you have a hundred marbles, 99 blue, 1 orange, each has a number on it. Each day you pull out 5, if it's blue you roll a d20 and on a 20 you keep it out for 1d20 turns. If it's orange you put it back without rolling, but you have to do a push up.
It will feel like there's way more orange than any individual blue. Why? The orange is more noticeable at a glance, it changes the interaction from routine, and the blue marbles have a chance to leave the bag for a few turns and so once it's gotten going the bag often has more than 1% orange in it.
The default on tinder is swipe, no match, but if match no conversation, but if conversation it goes nowhere, but if it goes somewhere it doesn't lead to a date, at which point if it does lead to a date suddenly you're thinking of this person as out of ths ordinary and may be remembered. Maybe a relationship happens which removes you both from the pool for an indeterminate amount of time
Assholes are noticeable, they're memorable, and they're already a few steps in. Then when they do enter a relationship it's likely to be on the shorter end because they just kinda suck, so they go back into the pool faster.
If there are more arseholes than non-arseholes, then the arseholes are the 'normal' people. That's why I stay inside. I'm also trying reconcile with myself the possibility that I'm also an arsehole, just the wrong sort of arsehole.
Damn I need to power off. I'm like how does anyone write in their BIOS? I'm pretty sure it's just settings. 😅
Aren’t all operating systems bi(nary)?
/s don’t @me about ternary computers
Edit: actually do @me about ternary computers, I looked them up and they’re cool as shit
LOL
It's not that hard, the trick is using your computer after.
Look at coreboot. You can flash your bios with open source software!
No. Hi. Asshole here; zero confidence.
Well I'd ask you to prove you're an asshole, but apparently you don't believe you could?
=P
No, inverse; i think it's self evident.
Perhaps ironically, this is pretentious enough to convince me that you may indeed be an asshole.
Task failed successfully?
Or im just communicating on a deeper level than you.
Deeply communicating that you are an asshole, by continuing to be pretentious?
By showing that you are actually confident that being consistently pretentious is a good way to showcase this, despite claiming you have no confidence?
By disproving that your asshole status is self-evident, by showcasing that it actually requires a sustained interaction to demonstrate this?
I dunno, I've been around a lot of assholes, constantly contradicting themselves in 'clever' ways is pretty bog standard behavior.
Now you begin to understand.
My appearance should do, but, alas.
... your... appearance.
This is basically a message board.
You do not even have a profile image.
So you ... think I just know what you look like?
Is that narcissism or paranoia?
nope. it implies a craven amount of insecurity.
it says something though that so many people assume this, it's certainly not just you.
Whatever. It gives off the impression of confidence. We're trying to explain observed phenomena here, not cast moral judgements.
In my case, you're wrong, the guy is like a tank, insecurity is not the case. I see some people trying to "dig deeper":
No, he is a confident asshole, and his "charm" works one some women (and not each of them falls into made-up categories). People look for patterns too much. "I'm a red-piller" - lol, that's a first.
Note, I'm not protecting the guy, but he is not a comic-book villain with an origin story. He just happens to be successful in finding one-night stands because of a personal trait.
Edit: forgotten line breaks
a lot of people who over-invest on physical attributes have serious insecurities.
I hold to my premise. it in no way discredits him being an asshole in his coping with these issues.
Not strong like a tank, I meant by attitude. Ok, you invent whatever person you want in your head.