this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2025
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Mental Health

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I am 25(M) and never even touched hand of opposite sex, at this point i am kinda sure that im going to be alone in my life, but i just cant get over it. I am ugly and skinny, and as for recent started going bald. Have some heart issues so no heavy physical work. I have no chance. So i wanted to move on from this state of mind, and just focus on work and hobbies. How can i do so? Do you have any advice you can share?

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[–] Signtist@lemmynsfw.com 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Hey, that was me! Though I'm fat instead of skinny. The reason you can't get over it is because you want and deserve a relationship. I came to the conclusion that if I'm never going to have anyone in my life, I might as well join a dating site just to verify it, and lo and behold, I'm married now at 33.

Get a nice haircut, find some clothes that fit you well, and take some pictures of yourself doing things you like, then spend a few hours putting the effort into making an honest, well-thought-out profile on a dating site. Spend an hour or so every day really looking into potential matches, trying to come up with something to ask them about from their profile as a conversation starter. The more effort you put in, the better your results will be - if you send every girl a "hey," you'll never get a single match.

It'll take a while to get used to chatting with girls, and if you're like me you'll put your foot in your mouth a lot at first, but eventually you'll start getting some dates, and eventually you'll start getting some second dates. I won't say it'll be easy, but I look back on my 25 year old self and think how funny it was that I had nearly given up so young. You've got a lot of life ahead of you, and it's better with company.

Or give up, it's your choice, but I don't think you would have posted this if you really wanted that.

[–] RisenPhoenix@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

about nice haircut, im balding ;D i tried buz cut and fully bald but my head shape isnt that great so it looks odd, i had some haircuts that i liked but now my front hair started to recede so they dont look good anymore

[–] Signtist@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 4 days ago

Can't say I know much about what a good haircut looks like, but if you find a nice hairdresser, they'll usually have some ideas for how they can make it look nice. Facial hair is often a good addition if you can grow it. Remember that you're your harshest critic, especially when your self esteem is in the shitter. Chances are you don't look half as bad as you think you do, and asking for outside help can give you the perspective you can't give yourself at the moment.