this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2025
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Mental Health

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I am 25(M) and never even touched hand of opposite sex, at this point i am kinda sure that im going to be alone in my life, but i just cant get over it. I am ugly and skinny, and as for recent started going bald. Have some heart issues so no heavy physical work. I have no chance. So i wanted to move on from this state of mind, and just focus on work and hobbies. How can i do so? Do you have any advice you can share?

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[–] RisenPhoenix@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

that i would want more and more, not sure that its will do good to my mental health

[–] unknown@piefed.social 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

More what, intimacy? Why is that something you think is bad for you?

Are you punishing yourself for something?

[–] RisenPhoenix@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

no, i mean what if i get addicted to sex? i will just spend more money on it, than doing something towards becoming better

[–] unknown@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

You are allowed to actually want to feel better, you know that right?

Doing things that feel good will be weird at first, you've been punishing yourself for a long time, but breaking out of this self flagellation ritual you've built around your life will be worth it, if you can let yourself.

Let's try some other what if's.

What if safe sex in a professional environment, with no emotional strings attached to hurt you with, actually makes you feel better?

What if practicing talking to women in a safe way like this, actually gives you the confidence to talk to other women?

What if you find a sex worker you click with and maybe you see her once or twice a month over the course of a year, and in that time you get comfortable with interacting with women and with sex and you not only learn how to be good in bed, but also how not to hate yourself?

If you don't try, you'll never know.

[–] RisenPhoenix@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

well, maybe you are right... maybe someday i will have a courage to use service of sex workers

[–] unknown@piefed.social 1 points 1 day ago

They won't judge you for any of the things you're self conscious about, they've seen it all and don't care about any of it as long as you're hygenic and polite.

Good luck.