this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2025
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Lucifer/Satan never even actually kills anyone in the Bible, whereas Yahweh commits literal genocide on multiple occasions.
It should also be noted that the serpent never even told Eve that she should eat the fruit, just that she COULD.
Side note that always puzzled me... 1) why would God create a tree that has fruit that teaches you the difference between good and evil? 2) why would god put this tree in the garden in the first place? 3) why would anyone (particularly an omniscient) ever think that the people who have no concept of right and wrong (before eating the fruit) are going to be able to resist it? And finally, 4) WHY IS KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL A BAD THING??
It's all just so fucking idiotic that it hurts my brain.
The biggest one for me was, "Why doesn't he want them to know they're naked?"
He gets all pissy because Satan ruins his perverted, non-consensual peep-fest and decides to curse literally everything for all time. Fucking gross.
Yeah. He loves you so much. But also, if you don't do exactly as he says, you will literally burn in a lake of fire for all eternity. Why? Because a couple people ate some fruit that I tempted them with and, let's be real, always knew they were going to eat anyway.
That's an abusive relationship if I've ever seen one.
Don't even get me started on how stupid it is that he had to send himself to earth, as his son, to die painfully, in order to save humanity? Like what dude? Do you not literally make the rules? Why would you make it so you have to do such bizarre convoluted shit? Just wave your hand.
Also weirdly into the importance of being willing to sacrifice your children as an act of necessity sometimes (literally both Abraham and Jesus, plus the plagues, David, etc...).
Yeah... If you start looking at the Bible with Yahweh as the bad guy, and Lucifer as, maybe chaotic good or just chaotic neutral, it starts to make a little bit more sense.
Edit: To be clear, it's still all bullshit lol
IIRC, Yahweh evolved out of El, who the OG hebrews considered the best god of the Canaanite pantheon.
The Old Testament starts making more sense when you realize that there were other gods in the pantheon at one point. Like all the whining about Ashera is because she was El's ex.
He did. Pretty much everything about that shit was taken from somewhere else.
Christianity stole from Zoroastrianism too.
lmao Satan is chaotic neutral and God is lawful evil. Jesus, assuming his character is different from Yawheh, is neutral good.
"The plagues will continue until morale improves" kind of vibe, hey?
If we believe that the various Satans (in the original Hebrew, literally "adversary," and rendered without the definite article so there are probably multiples of them) are in fact one and the same with the Devil (singular), this link-up doesn't even occur until the Book of Revelation which is firmly a new testament thing and wholly unsupported by any of the old testament or ancient Hebrew sources from which it's derived. Making all the assumptions required on basis that this is so, then whoever he was killed a lot of people in Revelation. But not until then.
In old Hebrew tradition, the Satans are sort of the prosecuting attorneys for god. They work for him in order to tempt the faith and righteousness of various people. Several mortal people are also given the moniker of "Satans" when they're working against the interests of god or various other individuals.
Meanwhile, the notion that Lucifer is also one and the same with the Devil or any kind of Satan is a much later interpolation made when the church(es) of the era wanted to insert a bogeyman into their religion and they needed a justification for it, some time in the AD 200s. Lucifer is identified as the king of Babylon, a mortal, when he has attracted god's ire in his sole appearance in Isaiah 14. The situation has become so warped that his name was finally removed in the New International Version of the bible and he's simply referred to as the "morning star, son of the dawn." (Isaiah 14:12, if you want to go have a look.)
Modern pontificates will also insist that the king of Tyre in Ezekiel 28 is also somehow the Devil, which is dubious. Even if he were, and god were speaking allegorically for precisely half of his rant as we are thus demanded to believe, god smokes him at the end of the passage anyway so it's a moot point.
Maybe.
On the other hand, there's no actual evidence that any of this is real in any way. So there's that...
Oh, one other point of order on that as well: Obviously even if it's not all bullshit (spoiler: it's all bullshit), Revelation is supposed to be a prophecy of the end of times which obviously hasn't happened yet. I'm pretty sure we would have noticed if it did, what with the sounding of the seven trumpets, the worldwide earthquake, the 200 million horsemen slaying a third of mankind, etc.
So even if it's all somehow inerrantly true, the Devil hasn't killed anyone yet.
Revelation just reads like a dude who got dosed and is tripping without knowing why. John probably ate some bad mushrooms.
Also, if I recall, many people attribute his apocalyptic vision to what was happening in Rome at the time with Nero.