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Yeah dude. It’s sad, but sometimes a kid is just dangerous to other people. There’s no amount of reason or gentleness that can help. It fucking sucks. I hope he’s doing okay now, and I hope his mom has peace with whatever has happened. It’s so hard to be comfortable with your child being completely unhinged, and the choices you have to make to keep others safe around them.
My son is special needs, has/had violent episodes. While this statement might be true, I just can't agree. I may have given up my career to sit in therapist offices, but I believe every troubled kid deserves a shot. With enough love (and meds and coping skills) one can overcome the sheer angst that lives inside them.
I have absolutely had to 'hold' my own child at the school in years past. Shits not for the weak, but I've watched him overcome this, and is becoming more successful each year. With enough support, these kids can be successful. The truth is, the parents also need support, and they often don't have it themselves, so it compounds into deeming the child a lost cause.
I hate when what should happen, doesn't become what is. But no child is irredeemable. That's how I feel.
Every other kid and teacher in school deserves peace and not being assaulted by your kid.
.. exactly. That's the whole reason why it's important to actually address these kids' needs on an individual basis, and not just slap them into a for profit prison pipeline.
It starts with parents giving a shit and it is sustained with support programs.
I 100% agree. My “sometimes” meant in-the-moment. Long term gentleness and reasoning is obviously the way to go. But when my daughter is popping off and in full on assault mode, she can’t be “oh I know, doing a thing you don’t like is so tough isnt it?” Out of kicking a fuckin hole in the wall or bruising every one of my limbs.
Ah yes, I know those moments well. On the mild end, my son used to trash his room, and specifically destroyed our favorite read together books or books I got him special, just to try and get to me. It took years of me explaining he's only hurting himself when this happens. He's broke many things he loves out of anger. He's finally starting to get it. Even sometimes, when hes upset and in his room working it out, in a healthy way, he will bring out his favorite possession and hand it/them to me, 'im not feeling safe and I don't want to ruin this item" so he gives it to me to keep it safe, until he's feeling better. It took fucking years to get to that point.
Meds have helped a lot, with ongoing group/individual therapy. After episodes, I've heard him, cry/whimper in his room, "why am I like this!?" And man it breaks your heart.
I'm glad you haven't given up, I've nearly given up 100 times but we keep pushing forward. Keep seeking that light at the end of the tunnel. I see what you mean now, yeah, in the moment you have to assure safety. It's not an easy job.
I have one on my current caseload like this. Not out of any kind of cruelty. Just high impact deficits. I wouldn’t say unhinged, just not aware.