Willie Nelson has been smoking pot for longer than most of us have been alive, including on top of the White House with Jimmy Carter's son, he's also outlived many many cigarette smokers and alcoholics.

Mitch McConnell is still going to outlive most of us, because tortoises have a long lifespan, we just need to flip him on his back or drop him into some deep water.

[–] thorbot@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Mitch will never die, he will just shed his ghoulish outer layer and continue to exist in the shadow realm as a wraith

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Mitch is a mindflayer that’s been ousted by the elder brain. At this point he’s so weak it’s hard to keep his bowels intact while he keeps his disguise up

[–] JuzoInui@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Keith Richards better watch his back cuz that strigoi is cumming for his liver, just you wait

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

And then trump the solamith and the shapechanger desantis are coming to clean up the rest

[–] DigitalTraveler42@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Mitch is a psychic vampire, this is how it would go.

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[–] thorbot@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Spoiler warning! I'm not there yet

[–] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 years ago

I know a submarine company that might help with deep water bit

[–] GreenMario@lemm.ee 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Evil assholes full of hate live forever. Ask Kissinger and Murdoch.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 years ago

The good die young because we're all so fUCKING STRESSED OUT ALL THE TIME