fuck it up and waste the first shot on a non-portal supporting surface
this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2025
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Shoot the portal on two moveable plates. Move the plates as needed to ship goods. For instance, I imagine making a lot of money shoving sea ice into a portal exiting Lake Powell.
Granted. The portals immediately close when you try to move the plates.
The good answer is to create some kind of perpetual motion machine.
The cool answer is to create some kind of roller coaster that just keeps going and going
The fun answer is to create some chaos. Put one behind a door or something and the other in some unexpected place.
Read the instructions.
Sell it to a space agency that promises it to use it as a wormhole.
It needs to be aimed at our moon (Selene) and an exo-dwarf planet.
It would be a bad use of it, but probably pick a random road online and pick a random volcano. Whoever gets unlucky and doesn't notice the nightmare portal in the ground gets a free trip to the base of a volcano at no cost. Would obviously need the portal to be in a location where you cannot just easily return from, though. Gonna turn a random volcano and random street into quite the tourist attraction for no reason.
Put the other portal in a geostationary space station: free access to orbit.
The single most (energy) expensive thing humans do is put things in orbit.
Love the idea, but (spoiler for the end of Portal 2)>!isn't that kind of what Chell did at the end of Portal 2 to defeat GlaDOS? The portal on the Moon causes the portal on Earth to suction everything out into space.!<
The portals would just need to be in a pressure equalizing chamber for that.
Your spoiler tag doesn't work
- But two sheets of plywood
- Portal on each
- ???
- Profit
I mean, genuinely, this would be infinite energy. I was thinking of somehow using magnets and induction to generate power, but it would be excessively high frequency and would be antithetical to multi-phase power.
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I'm going to be really sad when I fire my first shot from my single use portal gun only to find out the surface needed to be coated with moon dust.
Make a drain hole at the bottom of a lake, that comes out above it. Put in a water wheel, free energy.
Never thought about it before, but I guess this makes portal guns impossible, since scenarios like this break conservation of energy.
Maybe conservation of energy is wrong.
Well, the videogame kind are definitely impossible, but if the gravitational field could travel through the portal then it would probably still conserve energy. The gravitational interactions around vertical portals would be exceptionally weird. If they were close enough, you'd probably experience weightlessness while in between them, but I can't wrap my head around what would happen as they move further apart. That makes me hope someone tries to make a mod that models that in Portal...
My first instinct would be that it would equivalent to putting another celestial body the mass of the earth at the distance from the earth is from each portal. Since gravity is a wave, it, in theory, would affect a region beyond what would considered "around" the portals.
So if you put one portal on the ground, and another 100 meters up, it would be similar to there being a second earth 100 meters from the surface of the earth, experienced by the entire earth (once the gravitational wave propagated.) How that would evolve over time is too complex for my basic understanding of physics, but a simulation of it would be a neat experiment.
Maybe entering the portal takes as much energy as it would take to climb the long way? If the other end is on the moon you have to enter at 10km/s or something else you fall right back out. Warning: I am not responsible for damage caused by extreme tidal forces.
But you know itβs possible from firsthand experience. Whomsthβnβt reached terminal velocity by shooting the ceiling & floor and jumping in?
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Put portals on two boards. See what happens if I put one board through the other portal.
One on my butt, one in the toilet, never need to poop again!
Bonus points if someone finds the toilet π
I mean you would still need to poop. But you wouldn't have to worry about the time or your situation.
You're pooping on the oval office's desk arent you
One at the white house, one at the sun.
Be carefully secret service is now on to you. Maybe add /s so they know you're joking and not intending any harm to dumb animals there
He meant to say "In portal"
I would make one portal in Tokyo or some busy city and other in another busy city and i will sell tickets to ride between the two. Or i will put them on some sheet of something that i can move so i can change destinations but in game if i move the surface under portal it will dissapear
I will nationalize your service for free to everyone
Iβve always wanted to fuck my own ass.
Won't work, as you thrust your ass will pull away. Only way I could think of is having the portals on platforms that would move with you.
I appreciate your in depth analysis of this situation.
Uhh huh huh... you said depth.
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