this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2025
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[–] phx@lemmy.ca 18 points 13 hours ago

His undergarments settled gracefully about his ankles, revealing his manly glory. Like a Sphinx-Cat it stood proudly with its head held high above the two shaven and wrinkled spheres that adorned it.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 26 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

I would love it. Now add something about dick size.

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 12 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

As he walked to the stove and reached for his favorite lace- adorned apron, he stumbled, not for the first time that day or even that hour, over the flacid, garden hose-like cock that dragged on the floor behind him between his legs. It was as thick as his powerful forearms and twice as veiny, and tended to slap around his ankles when he walked too fast.

Usually he had to thread it through one pant leg or the other, and then wrap it around his calf a few times and stuff the end into his boot to keep from dirtying it outside, so when he was home it was a relief to let it whip around freely. Sometimes, when he stood at the stove for many hours and it pulled heavily at his taint, he would drape it around his neck like a feather boa, and feel pretty.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago

flacid, garden hose-like cock that dragged on the floor behind him between his legs.

🤣🤣🤣

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 137 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

the balls penised cockfully down the stairs

[–] Siethron@lemmy.world 96 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

balls don't penis, dicks penis.

Balls sack nuttily.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 29 points 18 hours ago

Writing is such an elegant craft.

[–] Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world 2 points 15 hours ago

Is that the sound they make when you go down the stairs at just the right cadence and get like a clop clop clop

[–] Pilon23 57 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Don't leave us on a cliffhanger. I need to know what happened to this man's balls

[–] Il_winters_lI@lemmy.world 26 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

They swung around too much and got run over by a bus.

[–] Pilon23 20 points 19 hours ago

Now I wish I hadn't asked 🙁

[–] Maiq@lemy.lol 8 points 14 hours ago

I feel personally attacked, how does he know exactly what by balls look like and how I feel about their aged inadequacies.

[–] VaalaVasaVarde@sopuli.xyz 31 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

His mostly shaven ball sacks looked like the skin of a Shar-Pei dog, their eerie wobble mesmerized me like a deer caught in the headlights of a 1982 GMC Vandura...

[–] Cassa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 84 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

I mean. I'd read that shit. Gimme skimpy armour for both men and women, stop didcriminating ;)

[–] TrousersMcPants@lemmy.world 34 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I love the videogames that, rather than stop making skimpy armor, have simply made all armor unisex

[–] shani66@ani.social 9 points 19 hours ago

Now i just wish ffVIX would update all the old gear to be unisex instead of just adding new unisex gear.

[–] geogeogeo@lemmy.world 40 points 21 hours ago

Fortunately this is how a lot of gay erotic fiction reads.

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 44 points 22 hours ago

I, too, mourn the loss of my balls' boisterousness. I feel seen.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 24 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

… he thought as he balled testily down the stairs

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago

He shouldn't go down the stairs with his balls while angry. Increased torsion risk

[–] Lustrate@lemm.ee 30 points 22 hours ago

They do, in fact.

Time to introduce some people to the “Romantasy” genre it seems!

[–] meliodas_101@lemmy.world 11 points 22 hours ago

I laughed way too hard at this.

[–] casmael@lemm.ee 5 points 22 hours ago

Idk man I’d be up for that tbh

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

you mean like fanfiction?