this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2025
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[–] phx@lemmy.ca 21 points 16 hours ago

His undergarments settled gracefully about his ankles, revealing his manly glory. Like a Sphinx-Cat it stood proudly with its head held high above the two shaven and wrinkled spheres that adorned it.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 27 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

I would love it. Now add something about dick size.

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 13 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

As he walked to the stove and reached for his favorite lace- adorned apron, he stumbled, not for the first time that day or even that hour, over the flacid, garden hose-like cock that dragged on the floor behind him between his legs. It was as thick as his powerful forearms and twice as veiny, and tended to slap around his ankles when he walked too fast.

Usually he had to thread it through one pant leg or the other, and then wrap it around his calf a few times and stuff the end into his boot to keep from dirtying it outside, so when he was home it was a relief to let it whip around freely. Sometimes, when he stood at the stove for many hours and it pulled heavily at his taint, he would drape it around his neck like a feather boa, and feel pretty.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 6 points 9 hours ago

flacid, garden hose-like cock that dragged on the floor behind him between his legs.

🤣🤣🤣

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 140 points 1 day ago (1 children)

the balls penised cockfully down the stairs

[–] Siethron@lemmy.world 97 points 1 day ago (2 children)

balls don't penis, dicks penis.

Balls sack nuttily.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 31 points 22 hours ago

Writing is such an elegant craft.

[–] Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world 2 points 19 hours ago

Is that the sound they make when you go down the stairs at just the right cadence and get like a clop clop clop

[–] Pilon23 59 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Don't leave us on a cliffhanger. I need to know what happened to this man's balls

[–] Il_winters_lI@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They swung around too much and got run over by a bus.

[–] Pilon23 19 points 23 hours ago

Now I wish I hadn't asked 🙁

[–] VaalaVasaVarde@sopuli.xyz 32 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

His mostly shaven ball sacks looked like the skin of a Shar-Pei dog, their eerie wobble mesmerized me like a deer caught in the headlights of a 1982 GMC Vandura...

[–] Cassa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 86 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I mean. I'd read that shit. Gimme skimpy armour for both men and women, stop didcriminating ;)

[–] TrousersMcPants@lemmy.world 34 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I love the videogames that, rather than stop making skimpy armor, have simply made all armor unisex

[–] shani66@ani.social 9 points 23 hours ago

Now i just wish ffVIX would update all the old gear to be unisex instead of just adding new unisex gear.

[–] Maiq@lemy.lol 8 points 18 hours ago

I feel personally attacked, how does he know exactly what by balls look like and how I feel about their aged inadequacies.

[–] geogeogeo@lemmy.world 42 points 1 day ago

Fortunately this is how a lot of gay erotic fiction reads.

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 45 points 1 day ago

I, too, mourn the loss of my balls' boisterousness. I feel seen.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 24 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

… he thought as he balled testily down the stairs

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago

He shouldn't go down the stairs with his balls while angry. Increased torsion risk

[–] Lustrate@lemm.ee 31 points 1 day ago

They do, in fact.

Time to introduce some people to the “Romantasy” genre it seems!

[–] meliodas_101@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

I laughed way too hard at this.

[–] casmael@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago

Idk man I’d be up for that tbh

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

you mean like fanfiction?