this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2025
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[–] GeneralEmergency@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

One of these days I'll open one of these threads and not see the tech obsessed weeaboo mens rights activists trying to justify treating women as sex objects.

Not today sadly.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 8 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

Where's the line, like initial attraction is kind of - by definition always limited in it's understanding of "the other".... Whether that's a woman finding a fatherly figure attractive, or a gay guy finding a bear attractive, or someone finding an Irish accent hot...

They're all empty slates we project onto, it's only later that we learn about the human beyond those characteristics. Then we find out they're kind of a horrible person, and that's the end of that.

[–] match@pawb.social 3 points 3 hours ago

as a gay guy, it definitely starts off with "the other person is a human with needs" [commonly with the subtext "and i hope one of those needs is to fuck me"]

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 5 points 8 hours ago

Most people like attributes of other people.

Most people don't like being liked because of attributes.

When someone is obsessed with Asian culture and they seek out someone that is Asian, It takes a special kind of person to accept that process it and work with it. Some people can use it to their advantage. Most wouldn't want to.

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 6 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Remember, if anyone is ever attracted to you, they must be fetishising you!

[–] KeenFlame@feddit.nu 2 points 7 hours ago

The more your relationships are about appearance, the less you can know about yourself and them since you are certain to not chase a partner to be a trophy among other effects

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 7 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I'd say it's obvious that that's not what the comic is saying but it's probably hard to tell the difference if no one has ever been attracted to you.

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 1 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

That would be a pretty trashy thing to say, indeed; is this from personal experience?

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 0 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I forgive you for starting it. Please don't fetishise me, I am a human bean!

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Don't quit your day job for standup

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

How can you talk to your brother in such a way? What would Mom think?

[–] match@pawb.social 1 points 3 hours ago

almost salvaged it with this one

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 0 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)
[–] Heyting@lemmy.ml 17 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

Asian women generally face a lot more sexual harassment in western countries than white women because of the idea people have that they’re submissive and ‘traditional’ and won’t defend themselves. If you can’t imagine being fetishised is a bad thing you have serious issues with empathising.

Dating someone who fetishises you means they don’t care about your personality or other traits except for the trait they fetishise. They’ll try to fit you into a racial mould you probably don’t belong to just to satisfy their weird fantasies. They do not care that they hurt you in the process because you’re not a person to them.

[–] synapse1278@lemmy.world 5 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Asian women generally face a lot more sexual harassment in western countries than white women because of the idea people have that they’re submissive and ‘traditional’ and won’t defend themselves.

I believe that Asian women tend to think European men will be more progressive, more respectful than Asian men, maybe letting their guard down a bit. That's very bad that all women have to stay so vigilant all the time. Systemic misogyny is still very much a thing even in the most progressive western countries...

Anyway, I can give a small personal anecdote as a white European man, while I was dating using dating apps in Europe. The only women I ever managed to meet for a date were all Asians ! As an average looking guy, I gave every women on the platform equals chances. I guess I am not really "the type" European women are looking for, but somehow it seems I am popular among Asian women. I am now happily married for several years with one of this women :)

[–] Heyting@lemmy.ml -4 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Your first paragraph is victim blaming. I know several women who grew up in Europe and have ethnicities from various regions in Asia and they experience a lot of racist sexual harassment from strangers on the street. They have no misconceptions about white men. Most avoid white men at all cost.

[–] synapse1278@lemmy.world 7 points 12 hours ago

Sorry, this was not my intention to put the responsibility on women. What I wanted to say is that it's a terrible situation that all women are constantly exposed to abuse, and there is no safe situation for them in particular when it come to dating.

[–] answersplease77@lemmy.world 6 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

I've suffered my whole life from ladies fetishing me just because of my race. it's not like I'm even a person literally shaking rn

[–] Heyting@lemmy.ml 1 points 14 hours ago

Browsing lemmy as a marginalised person is very frequently not a comfortable experience :/

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 51 points 1 day ago (7 children)

The problem with saying "Asians are fetishized" is that EVERY race is fetishized. Every body feature is fetishized. Small tits? Fetishized. Big tits? Fetishized. Black? Fetishized. White? Fetishized. Asian? Fetishized. Wear glasses? Fetishized.

No matter who you are, there's SOMEOME fetishizing you.

[–] match@pawb.social 4 points 3 hours ago

which is awesome! if you want to have a hookup with a chaser who only sees you for your anatomy and not as a person with needs

[–] TheresNodiee@lemm.ee 2 points 4 hours ago

That doesn't make it a good thing or something that shouldn't be off-putting to the people who are being fetishized. It's normal to be attracted to certain physical features but when you fetishize certain physical characteristics, ethnic/racial backgrounds, etc. you treat those people as a sexualized objects and not a human being who may have a sexual aspect to them but is much more complex than just the often superficial characteristics that are fetishized.

People want to be perceived as whole, complex human beings, not just carriers of characteristics that provide you sexual gratification which, if you fetishise something about a person, you are doing to them whether you realize it or not. It's creepy, disrespectful, and dehumanizing.

Feel free to feel attracted to certain physical characteristics but do not fetishise people.

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 8 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

And it's still not good, and far less frequent than what Asian women endure in the West.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Nah, little/big tits are character traits that span multiple races so they're probably going to be fetishized more broadly just by virtue of that.

So here we might need another dimension. I'd call it depth or thoroughness. The idea of submissive asian women might be more thorough in its fetishized details, but probably isn't as broadly as things like tit size.

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

You're confusing aesthetic preference with fetish.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I mean, I thought we all were goven that Freud's original definition was something along the lines of "an object that must be present in order for the patient to reach orgasm".

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

At that point my hand qualifies.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 7 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Thanks for the confidence boost. I'm waiting for someone to fetishizes weirdos like me

[–] Test_Tickles@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Don't worry, they are out there.

Unfortunately, they are highly allergic to pineapple... but they are out there.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 1 points 7 hours ago

Allergic to pineapples? Yeah that won't work out

[–] lordnikon@lemmy.world 31 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's almost what is being fetishized is not the problem everyone has a preference. It's the objectification that's the problem and not seeing another person as a whole human with agency.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 9 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Indeed, being attracted to certain aesthetic features isn't a bad thing. But seeking out someone to fulfill that fantasy, irrespective of any other factor, is.

[–] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

People are too quick to assume they are being singled-out "irrespective of any other factor" though. We're all so convinced no-one could like us for who we really are.

I mean, if I'm being honest, no-one should like me for who I really am, but that hasn't stopped plenty of people. You get the idea.

[–] TheresNodiee@lemm.ee 1 points 4 hours ago

Are people to quick to assume that? Where are you getting that information from? Are you assuming it?

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 40 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (9 children)

I've had exactly one partner that was with me as an interracial kink. And it was REALLY creepy. Didn't like it at all. I ask about family a lot to flush that out, if ''my dad would be so pissed if they knew I was dating you'' pops up. I'm out. It's a terrible feeling. The ''this doesn't matter because it happens to everyone'' logic is deeply flawed. This isn't an equation, mutual problems don't invalidate eachother, it just sucks when you realize you're experiencing it and you never want to deal with it again.

Just in case anyone cares, I'm not an Asian woman, I'm a Hispanic man, I relate to the comic, I don't think it's invalid because it also has happened to me.

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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I've heard that people are often interested in Asian women because they are expected to be subservient. I just think that while women of any ethnicity can be good-looking*, East Asian women are better-looking on average. I wouldn't call that a fetish the way that you do, and I don't think it's somehow worse than a preference for any other sort of physical feature (which I wouldn't call a fetish either unless it was very extreme).

*Good-looking to me rather than in an absolute sense.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That grandpa gives off Bangkok sexpat vibes

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