this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2025
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Microblog Memes

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originally seen on the fediverse here: https://elekk.xyz/@coriander/114114387547043884

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[–] RangerJosey@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 hours ago
[–] PanArab@lemm.ee 32 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

I’m not sure why but Kissinger hated everyone. He hated the Vietnamese, Cambodians, Laotians and was even quoted saying Arabs are savages (or perhaps barbarians). How does someone who escaped a Holocaust carry so much hate against other disadvantaged groups?

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 18 points 6 hours ago

The Holocaust broke a lot of people's faith in humanity. When that hope is lost it is less a feeling of hate and more one so dispassionate and disconnected that they simply do not care about humanity.

And that can enable some hateful acts indeed.

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 15 points 7 hours ago

Racists gonna racist. The people that hate immigrants the most are other immigrants

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 40 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (2 children)

Speaking of jokes for our time:

Q: What is the main difference between succession under the tsarist regime and under socialism?

A: Under the tsarist regime, power was transferred from father to son, and under socialism – from grandfather to grandfather.

Also on point:

A man walks into a shop and asks, "You wouldn't happen to have any fish, would you?" The shop assistant replies, "You've got it wrong – ours is a dairy shop. We don't have any milk. You're looking for the fish shop across the road. There they don't have any fish!"

Although my personal favorite...

In Soviet Russia, everyone gets the joke!

[–] match@pawb.social 6 points 7 hours ago

Yakov Smirnoff is younger than the president, he could probably tour again with the right retooling

[–] Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Can you explain the first one?

[–] boonhet@lemm.ee 17 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

During the tsardom, tsars passed power like kings do.

Soviet union, the party chose its leader. There was a period in the Soviet times where each succeeding leader was pretty much as old as the outgoing one so they didn't last very long. It was called the gerontocracy.

[–] Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works 12 points 7 hours ago

Lol so basically most of congress and the presidency in the US xD

Interesting tho, hadn't heard that before, thank you for the explanation!

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

It was called the gerontocracy.

Missed chance to called it "geriatracy"

[–] boonhet@lemm.ee 1 points 1 hour ago

It's the same root word

[–] RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works 21 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

This old Soviet joke was about Stalin

[–] crmsnbleyd@sopuli.xyz 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Surely not comrade

tone indicator/j

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 15 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

I think you could argue there were plenty of Soviet leaders it could fit. Beria, for example.

But if the KGB asked, you meant the capitalist pig American president.

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 7 points 7 hours ago

But if the KGB asked, you meant the capitalist pig American president.

"Who did you think it was about?"

It could be but famously it was understood to be Stalin.

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 83 points 14 hours ago (11 children)

That obituary will definitely be Putin the front page

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 75 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

There's only one other that could trump it.

[–] HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world 39 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
[–] MinorLaceration@lemmy.world 14 points 10 hours ago

With all these puns, I can't understand Netanyahu guys are talking about.

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[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 48 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I'm hoping they found them both dead. Together, in a hotel room with Putin's dick still in Trump's mouth.

[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 hours ago

And Elon dead sitting in the cuck chair

[–] kibiz0r@midwest.social 17 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (2 children)

Something that has always bothered me about this joke: Don’t news stands generally have the front page visible, to entice people? So like, you’d know well before you bought one.

Edit: I’m illiterate. I’ve heard this joke before as “guy buys a paper, looks at the front page, throws it away”. But this version actually makes sense.

[–] melpomenesclevage@lemmy.dbzer0.com 44 points 11 hours ago

'scans the front page, doesn't buy the paper'. right. that's the joke. that it's for someone important enough for their death to make the front page, which is visible without buying the paper.

[–] qaz@lemmy.world 22 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Yes, that's part of the joke. The obituary he was looking for was something that would be frontpage news, implying it's an important political person.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 12 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (2 children)

As much as I'd have loved for the Kissinger is Dead celebrations to have been big news (and a Holiday), it went by mostly unannounced.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (2 children)

Because he lived so long that when he finally died, most Americans had no fucking clue who he was.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

He's the guy who dropped his glasses in the toilet.

I mean, I partied. But, I am weird.

[–] AmazingAwesomator@lemmy.world 19 points 14 hours ago

I'm here 'till thursday; try the veal and tip your server

...and please dont put your cigarettes out in the flower pots - the FSB currently has a shortage of microphones.

[–] AngryishHumanoid@lemmynsfw.com 10 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Yes an old joke for our times. About NEWSPAPERS.

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 10 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

You’re right, I’ll fix it:

[BRO] stops by the [iPAD STAND] every day, scans the [INTERNET], doesn't buy the [IPAD]. One day the vendor asks what he's up to.

[BRO] says: "looking for an obituary."

Vendor says "those are towards the back of the [RSS FEED], [RIZZLER]."

[BRO] says: "not the one I'm looking for, [BITCH]."

[–] Zron@lemmy.world 7 points 7 hours ago

RSS feed

Okay boomer

[–] qaz@lemmy.world 6 points 11 hours ago

Good try, but already outdated

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 26 points 14 hours ago (5 children)

To be honest, every time I lunch Lemmy I'm hoping for a "Trump found dead" post to be on the top.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Senselessly.

[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Wish Granted

TRUMP DEAD. Vance accuse the "Radical Left" of assasination. Martial Law has been declared.

c/monkeypaw

[–] match@pawb.social 4 points 7 hours ago

vance does not have the anything to be a threatening dictator

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 6 points 9 hours ago

The Second American Civil War is one of the good timelines though.

In the bad ones, no one bothers to fight back.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 7 points 13 hours ago (4 children)

Trump found dead, circumstances not suspicious says Kremlin.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 2 points 7 hours ago

Choking on Putin's junk is not suspicious, plus it's how Trump wanted to go!

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Why would the Kremlin want him dead?

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

He disagreed with the "voluntary" annexation.

Putin just kept saying "Perhaps you think you are being treated unfairly" when he complained about it.

[–] gdog05@lemmy.world 5 points 12 hours ago

Fell out of a 7th floor window in the White House.

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