AnarchyChess

My bishops cast "River of Salmon", which causes the bears to do nothing but eat and sleep for the rest of the game, while my knights cry out "Ni!" and distract the black queen with a shrubbery. The rest of the game is plain sailing.

Promote all bishops to pope and shit together in woods.

You can do the woods response, whereas both queens will choose the bears to go into the woods with them rather than any male pieces. This leaves black without any frontline but also sacrifices both queens.

Cocaine. Saw it in a movie.

You should mirror their move as white bears are stronger than black bears.

Didn't know Leshy played chess.

You're not supposed to play around it, it's meant to make you lose. But don't worry, The Angler will only play the bear wall on your first run through or two to prevent the player from progressing too quickly. Once you find the Stinkbug and the Knife, he shouldn't summon them anymore and you can progress past him. Make sure you're taking time to look around the room for puzzles/secrets.

Death touch mantis god or scissors

Those are black bears, the scare easily. Just make your pawns clap, yell, and maybe even bang some pans together and they should saunter off.

Feed them one of your horses. But put 2kg of C4 in the horse's butt first. Bears can't resist spicy palomino. Them yeet them off the board with the C4.

White does look to be in an unbearable position.

/Pun

Turns out the pawns are 'Murican!

Launch a salmon at the black king

Horse can jump over other pieces

Easy, i have the power of beets and Battlestar Galactica on my side!

Horse to f3

Thought they were panthers at first, in which case I'd say have the FBI monitor their comms and assassinate their leader.

But it's bears, so, yeah, like the other guy said, cocaine. Lots of cocaine.

Tarrif opening, but I haven't learned any endgames.