this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2025
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I have OP magic. I can reverse time and take my money back from your future. There is no escape from OP Magic Lemmings.

You have 1 year. What do you do with this small sum of money?

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[–] beercupcake@sopuli.xyz 1 points 25 minutes ago

HYSA, or short term bonds. Get ~40k for free without stress at the end of the year :)

[–] sga@lemmings.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Probably make a fixed deposit with the principal of 1 Million, and then after a year, (Assuming annual interest rate of around 7%) I would get 1.07 million, and give you 1 Million back, and still have USD 70,000, which is still a good amount to get for free. If we get quarterly interest rate, it would be slightly higher, so will try for that

[–] moseschrute@lemmy.ml 4 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Where are you finding low risk investments with that much interest? Genuine question. Maybe I should shop around more. I would expect closer to 3.5-4%.

[–] sga@lemmings.world 1 points 19 hours ago

In India Fieex deposits for a period of ~400 days offer that. For lower periods it is lower. It is not a great investment if you account for inflations (that would be another ~5%, so after a year, the effective value would be close to 1.07/1.05 ~= 1.0190476)

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 76 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Take out a loan using it as collateral. Then it doesn’t matter if you take it back, I still have the loan. Then I guess buy a small company and gut it for resources. Rinse and repeat. Get rich. Lose my ethics. Start paying off women with offers of a horse. Lose my hair. Get my butt hair put on my head. Buy a shitty company and make it shittier. Treat my kids like garbage. Buy the president. Be the most hated man in the world. Fake my gaming stats. Die alone.

[–] Mister_Hangman@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You forgot try to enlarge my micro penis and break it completely so now not only can I not get it up without a hand pump I am completely unable to climax.

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

The only pump and dump Musk knows is the stock market

[–] runiq@feddit.org 7 points 2 days ago

no notes, i'd do the same

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)
  • Take the money
  • Travel the world
  • Fake my death so you can't ask for the money back
  • Change my name to something Russian sounding
  • Find goth latina partner
  • Run away together
  • Start a new life in a country where no one speaks English
  • Teach goth latina how to torrent and use Linux
  • Mary goth latina
  • Grow old and die for real

This plan will work, right?

[–] TisI@reddthat.com 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I have this strange feeling that you're into Latinas...

[–] devAlot@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Potentially goth, as well.

[–] TisI@reddthat.com 3 points 1 day ago

I sensed that as well but wasn't very sure lol.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago
[–] technopagan@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Use 500k to get my foot in the door at one of the 0% tax havens (they often require >=500k investment to get a legal entity representation). Use the other 500k + my savings to rake in the expended 500k at 0% tax via investments. Pay you back on time and be left with a 0% tax haven foothold that'll make me +20-30% on anything I'll invest in the future, compared to what I'd gain on investments right now due to taxation in my country.

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why not just become a regular criminal instead of a douchbag criminal?

Because the one is legal while the other is not. That's all we need to know about the system we live in, no?

[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 29 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I refuse to accept it. I don't make deals with magical tricksters. Same reason I don't fuck around with genies. It's just not worth it man.

[–] MuskyMelon@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

OP hasn't specified what he'd do if not repaid so that's not genie-like according to my Aladdin research.

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[–] geneva_convenience@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 days ago

A small loan of a million dollars?

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 22 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I'd invest in a CD at a credit union. No risk of loss and at least a 3-4% rate, or I'd park it in a high interest savings account. Some are even close to 5%. Then I'd ask for the same deal again next year and every year after lol

[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This. This is the way. Even if the APY is just 4% I get 40k free.

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[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

imagine getting that deal and also getting invited to the white house's insider trading signal group

[–] JayGray91@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago

The hottest gambling house right now πŸ˜€

[–] narr1@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago

Can I do nothing with it?

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Am I reading this right or is everyone else in the thread reading it wrong? It seems to me what you're saying is that you go back in time and take it away after the fact like we never had it. So all these answers about buying stocks or bonds or everything are pointless. Objectively the answer is to have as much fucking fun as you can cuz it's going to be taken away with timey wimey stuff before it ever happened. Am I right?

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[–] comfy@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 days ago

Confound your OP magic! I was going to buy some guns!

Well, I could invest it and pocket the returns... not sure how far 1 mil will get these days.

Or, I could just https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HrmD_vIMIk

Since you will change the past and reverse the changes due to me having no intention to give the money back, i will try to create as much chaos as possible with the money

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How much would an assassin to kill you cost? πŸ€”

Anyway, best to refuse this offer.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

about tree fiddy

[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

buy a house and save the rest except about 150k i would need to hire someone to kill you.

[–] 200ok@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Where are these magical houses that only cost $850k in 2025 πŸ’”

... most places outside of major cities? I'm seeing ~$580k in some of the upper middle class new construction neighborhoods in my area.

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[–] ramble81@lemm.ee 7 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I’m curious how you can take it back if I no longer have it. Say I spend it on activities and services, how can you recover it? Physical goods, you might be able to take those.

I'm telling you, don't mess around with magical tricksters. If you can't pay OP back, he'll probably take your soul, your first born child, your name, or some other demonic shit like that. Don't make a deal with Rumpelstiltskin, he will find a way to collect!

[–] Thavron@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Are you familiar with the concept of debt?

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Good luck collecting that.

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[–] Fingolfinz@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Buy $1 million dollars worth of weed

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[–] MTK@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Go big or go home. Use all of it on the mega lotto and hope to win

[–] lattrommi@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How are you delivering it? That's a lot of pennies.

I'm asking the wrong question, does it have to be the same 1 million dollars you gave me? Can it be something which is valued (by you) at 1 million dollars?

How does inflation effect this? A million dollars today might not be worth a million dollars in a year.

If I buried a million dollars worth pennies in my backyard, well actually, I probably wouldn't be done digging the hole after a year. Also, I don't actually have a backyard. If I did have a yard and it already had a large pit dug, which could contain a million bucks worth of pennies, after a year would I need to haul them out for you or does your OP magic also allow for easy transportation?

Is your OP magic for sale? Must be less than 1 million dollars or I can't afford it.

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

I don't know money penny. Maybe a bond; just a bond

[–] deadcatbounce@reddthat.com 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Probably get myself elected somewhere and use my privileges to screw the country for millions in the same way that my elected representatives have been doing since this century started.

Doing a decent job for the country's citizens seems rather passe these days.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Buy some government bonds, I guess? Stocks investment seems risky right now. What happens if I have less than 1 million when you try to take it back?

[–] hddsx@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

People are apparently pulling out of US treasury bonds too

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 3 points 2 days ago

I'd make it a point to not invest anything in the US, anyway.

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[–] microbe@lemmy.myserv.one 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm putting a hit out on j4k3

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