It was in a book of papal facts my very Catholic childhood friend had on the bus one time, so I buy it. One additional aspect I remember is that they call them by their Christian/given name when they hit them.
this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
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Popehammer is my favorite Elder Scrolls artifact.
This is false! Everybody knows that they smother the pope's face with a huge hoe's ass to confirm his death.
It's a silver hammer, so it could also check if the Pope is a werewolf.
Can't let that happen again.
...again?
The events inspired the band Powerwolf.
"The Pope was bitten by a wolf while going out for a shit. Somebody call Maxwell!"
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"One" hit "Two" hit Pope: "Ouch!" ... ... "What do we do now?" "Just hit harder, it's a self-solving problem"
"Three" smash Pope: "OUCH!!!"
...
...
"Now what?"
+5 damage and THAC0 against undead (Pope)
you know it's an ancient artifact when it uses THAC0
Plot twist: THAC0 bonus actually reduced your THAC0
This felt like a personal attack
Jesus allegedly came back, they aren't taking those kinds of risks these days
Do you know how many more murals they'd have to paint?
+3 to hit vs. Popes, Cardinals, and Bishops. On hit, Popes who are alive but playing dead must save vs. Fortitude or die.
Is it to make sure, or is it to make sure?
The MitreSmiter 9000. Puts all doubt to rest.
They should abstain from the hammer this time round. Zombie pope is the 2025 twist no-one would see coming.
Hit him once. If he is silent, hit him again. If he is silent again, hit him again. If he remains silent, he is dead.
Hit him once. If he shouts, you've got two more swings to make him stop.
Pope Says he's feeling better now...
my favourite fact is that “factoid” doesn’t mean “little fact” but is actually starting to mean that
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"I fear the Pope has died!"
"You can't say things like that! You have to be sure!"
*wham-"Ack!!" wham wham
"OK, I'm sure the pope is dead."
Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer came down on his head
do do dooo do
Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer made sure that he was dead
whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o
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The hammer is actually a 100lb two handed weapon
The hammer is in fact eight feet long.
They're making really sure.
What about the holy hand grenade?
First shalt thou take out the Holy Hammer. Then, shalt thou strike three times, no more, no less.
Three shalt be the number thou shalt strike, and the number of the striking shall be three. Four shalt thou not strike, nor either strike thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, thy pope shall snuff it.
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I have one of these on my coffee table that’s decoration. Found it just laying in some room when I visited the Vatican in the 90s. Weird.
It gives +5 to-hit and damage, +2d6 holy damage, +5 to carpentry skill, and can only be equipped by Catholics. It deals double damage to lycanthropes.
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So it's correctly labeled as a factoid then
The -oid suffix is used to describe something that appears like something else, but is not that thing. An asteroid is something that looks like a star, but isn't. A factoid is something that looks like a fact, but isn't.
I used to introduce my common-law partner as my "wifeoid." She hated that but sometimes it is okay to put your own pleasure first.
A droid looks like a Dr. but isn't? Am I getting this right?
Comes from Android. Like a human but isn’t.
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D'oh, it should say "another target Cleric" to avoid confusion.
Well you have to be sure. I wonder where they keep the Pope hammer in between deaths
Maybe the pope gets a bonk every day to ensure that he is, in fact, still alive?
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I bought one of those at Harbor Freight for like ¼ the price the Vatican probably paid.
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Live your life such that they have to verify your death
The ancient custom of throwing the body into the Tiber river is too unrefined for these modern times
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