Not The Onion

16295 readers

680 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

262

Woman arrested after raccoon named Chewy found with meth pipe in driver's seat during police stop (abcnews.go.com)

submitted 2 weeks ago by miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://quokk.au/post/5652540

top 11 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 51 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Fucking Ohio. Proving once again, Florida Man doesn’t stand alone.

[–] ToastedRavioli@midwest.social 26 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Florida and Ohio are basically the same thing. Insufferably boring hyper-conservative states with mid cities that are only redeemed by their amusement parks and Lebron James.

It makes sense they would produce similar types of crazy

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 2 weeks ago

Cincinnati is interesting at least, but yeah fuck Ohio.

Source: i live in ohio...

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Florida Man & Ohio Woman

[–] fubarx@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago

Our neighborhood raccoons have to up their game. Bunch of slackers.

[–] SippyCup@feddit.nl 11 points 2 weeks ago

Princmeth Leah was on her way back to Tattoo Ln to reunite Chewy with Heroin Solo

[–] wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io 9 points 2 weeks ago

Oh, come on and search me (whoa, whoa) I got my problems (whoa, whoa) You got your eyes wide My bags of McDs… And raccoon with a meth pipe

[–] Kbobabob@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wasn't she arrested before they found the raccoon?

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

For driving with a suspended listens and whatever that other thing was (arrest warrant?)

But she was then also arrested for the stash of meth.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Wait, wait, wait: what the fuck is that format of news program.

Are "man doing bad jokes and woman doing fake performative laughs" standard in news programs over there or are these people just especially incompetent?!

That stuff was seriously cringe.

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Took me a minute to realize the raccoon wasn't in the police car's driver seat