this post was submitted on 13 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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(page 2) 50 comments
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It's a car. RIP

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

a nice soft blanket. not sure how much will fit but I bet when I take it out it'll feel like taking packing out of your sinuses after an infection.

I can BREATHE!

[–] Zomg@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A 30cm offset serrated bread knife? At least the base is vaguely flared.

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[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's pointing at my finger, so an easy one.

[–] kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

Now start diddling your diddle Diddlydee

[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 13 points 2 days ago

Well.. it's a door. At least my ass will be closed for business after that.

[–] naun@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Large banana stuffie. Could be worse.

[–] Enkers@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hairbrush. It'd fit fine, but it's got rubberized paint that's coming off the handle. :/

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 1 day ago

I have to shove a whole fucking table up there? 😫

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 10 points 2 days ago (4 children)

My fiance is 5' tall. I'm going to literally explode.

[–] eldain@feddit.nl 2 points 1 day ago

Objectifying your fiance is cheating in this game.

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[–] Zenith@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago

I’m at the DMV, a teenaged girl is sitting next to me 😬

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 day ago

I am currently regretting my choice to sit in the garden. About 20 concrete blocks.

[–] Flamekebab@piefed.social 13 points 2 days ago

looks at radiator dubiously

[–] ArtemisimetrA@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Reading this on the toilet, literally it's toilet paper

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[–] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago

Not sure how a television is gonna fit, but here we go

[–] serpineslair@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago
[–] M137@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

My bathroom sink... at least my bowels will be empty before it ends up inside me.

[–] reddfugee@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

My poor Blåhaj…

OK, there's actually a banana to my left, but I already did that today

[–] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Zetta@mander.xyz 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm also in the bathroom, but the TP is on my right and to the left is the shower. No objects that aren't attached to the building. So, that'll be hard.

[–] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

You can do it, I believe in you.

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Of all guitars, why did I choose a ten-string one

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There’s a window, but just outside the window is a tall skinny CACTUS

[–] fungalfelidae5@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago

entire crate of water bottles.

[–] banazir@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Well shit, I guess I have to re-enact 1 man 1 jar...

[–] kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

Oh lawd not again

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[–] baggins@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I'm lying on my right side in bed so I guess the ceiling?

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 6 points 2 days ago

Same, except mine has a fan on it. 🪦

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[–] justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 days ago

The wall? I wonder how that's gonna work

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 days ago (4 children)

A towel. Idk how im gonna make this work. Maybe if soaked with enough lube or oil 🤔

[–] acidbattery@lemm.ee 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[–] diemartin@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Either my 10in tablet, or my huge ~~ashtray~~ bowl

[–] shipsnwolf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 days ago

Small metal filling cabinet that is wider than I am, death is what I get

[–] lunachocken@lemm.ee 4 points 2 days ago
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