"what kind of name is Lindsey for a man? Ash! Get this pansy out of here."
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
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male personnel with feminine names can also cowardly bomb brown children from a safe distance.
Ate the onion.
hate how possible onion articles are nowadays.
So… if I want my son to be spared from the draft all I have to do is give him a traditionally masculine name like Kelly, Courtney or Ashley?
if I want my son to be spared from the draft
Or Donald Trump.
You got me. It's just so plausible at this point, I ate it.
Sponsored by Lindsey Graham.
What you expect him to go by a different name? The teacher will have to report this to the parents.
I ate it. It tasted like... fascism.
Well, my daddy left home when I was three
Didn't leave very much to my mom and me
Except this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze
Now I don't blame him 'cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that my daddy ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me Sue
Whats hilarious about this is that senior commanders would be more likely to have “girls” names considering names tend to flip back and forth gender-wise. Any young Lindsay you meet today will likely be a girl, meanwhile you have old dudes like Lindsay Graham in the senate
Leslie is another one
Mitch McConnell’s actual first name is Addison.
J.D. Vance’s first name is Jethica
They can come to canada to serve
Are you the guys on the beach who hate everything?
Brb, changing my name to I can avoid getting drafted
(Kinda wished this was real, that'd be an epic uno-reverse)
There's gotta be a Jody joke in there somewhere
We're looking at you Terry