Anyone who spends more on a watch than a car has poor money management. Fuck, what a waste. There's no way any watch is worth more than $1000 other than for clout which is stupid.

Last time I gave a fuck was when I were with your wife

Holds up wrist sporting a Casio F-91W "Al-Qaida"

Big deal... This watch also costs more than my car.

Do you say shit like that because nobody can tell the difference between your watch and a cheap one?

A new London bus costs around £300k, so whilst is plausible that the watch cost more than my 'car', it's a pretty stupid way of spending that amount of money...

Do have some other investmentadvice I shouldn’t heed?

My car was a present, any watch costs more than my car

All these comments are trying too hard. The only two options are "OK?" and "that watch?"

Verbose disses only work in rap

"Okay?"

I am not a friend of clever comebacks. People who point these things out are pathetic and people who get triggered by that only slightly less so.

So being rich is a fairly new thing to you? What are you gonna do when you get used to it?

"Does it keep better time than my 15 dollar digital Casio? Is it sturdier? Will it last longer? Is it more comfortable? No? So you spent a ridiculous amount of money to buy a less functional watch made out of precious essential materials just to try to impress people like me?"

Honestly though, if you want to piss watch people off, just say "Oh, it looks just like a regular watch, thanks for pointing it out".

The classic "OK boomer" still gets them angry, if that's what you're after

I guess it's true, money can't buy taste.

Fun fact: Alec Baldwin's character was invented for the movie to provide exposition. The filmmakers didn't trust movie-going audiences to pick up the information from the three conversations that occur at the beginning of the play.

Damn thats a cheap watch, is it Chinese too?

Why the fuck would I drive a watch ?

"Good for you. Have a cookie. My $20 Casio tells the time just as well."

"Oh, you could only afford one watch?"

"Interesting, may I see?" And when they hold their wrist up to you, inspect it closely, then lick it, make some faces like a wine connoisseur, shake your head and say :"It's fake" turn around and disengage.

Heh, amateur hour. Let me show you my watch.

A shame, such a tasteless choice. If you had as much class as money, you'd have chosen something like a vintage 1960s submariner rather than a frivolous toy available on every high street in the world.

"So?"

That's the response you want. Complete andutter boredom. You don't care. Their entire personality is built around a weird little status structure and if you don't buy into their hallucination they lose their everloving minds

If only you had learned to tell time.

"You should have saved up a bit more and bought something less gaudy"

"I don't have a car"

Serious answer:

That's cool. What makes it special?

Sometimes people talk about how expensive something they own is simply because they're proud that they could afford it and even when they're being tone-deaf, there's no benefit to getting offended when you could just move the conversation along instead. (Although you might have to listen to them talk about watches.) If they were trying to brag, now they're stuck trying to explain why the watch is actually worth what they paid and you're the one judging them.

Cars (and watches) aren't so expensive that a middle-class person can't plausibly already own the one he would buy even if money was unlimited. You can act like that's true about you. My status-conscious former mother in law was bothered by the fact that I owned an old car, but when she would bring it up I would just say "I really like the 2008 model." She couldn't argue with that.

Sounds like you got ripped off

"Ok?"

I don't have a car

I don't care to respond

I don't mind sounding poor.

Wealth beyond what is good for you is no better than theft I'd say. Buying expensive watches while little children grow up in poverty is nothing to be proud of. If anyone should feel shame it should be that guy. Don't be humiliated by such shameless assholes. And don't try to counter attack, It won't work, they don't share your values, they feel no shame for the things that they do. Instead let's organize and fight them where it hurts. Taxes, taxes, taxes.

I mean it's one car, Alec. What could it cost? Ten dollars?

"that's a lot of money for such an ugly watch."

What kind of dumbass would spend that much on a watch?

If you need to point out the watch and explain its value, you've already lost.

You gotta understand this proving your worth by buying ridiculously expensive shit and then bringing attention to it is an attitude of "new money"

Rich people who have been rich for generations will have the same time piece but they will not even think about it. It's granted to them, part of their life that they would never question. Like you putting on socks.

And that is the attitude that new money cannot understand. Hell that's kind of what the great gatsby is about, new money just not getting that the expensive shit is just more furniture.

So the most frustrating thing to this mindset is to treat it as no big deal, or even weird that they would bring it up which really it is

"Well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"

Does your watch get good milage?

"that's cute!"

"Hey what time is it? Im suppose to meet up with some friends later."