this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
298 points (98.1% liked)

Anything But Metric

531 readers
363 users here now

Americans will use anything but metric

The Rules:

  1. Posts must be a screenshot, crosspost, or link to someone using a bizarre unit of measurement (33 lanes wide, as heavy as 10 semi-trucks, etc.)

  2. Standard units are not allowed, unless it's a sufficiently bizarre usage of the unit (this is up to mod discretion.)

  3. Intentionally terrible units are completely fine! Satire is welcome here

  4. Curses are fine, slurs are not. If there are slurs in something you want to post, please blur them, or reconsider posting.

  5. Flag NSFW content as such. NSFW words in these posts don't need to be censored.

  6. Post titles should be just the unit of measurement used (not the thing being measured!), and should be the full name of the unit (Apples and Bags of Apples imply very different things!) NSFW units should be partially censored. If there are multiple units, list as many as you want. If the source is satire, the title should start with [Satire]

  7. In the comments be civil, both to each other AND the subject of posts.

Mod Policy:

founded 6 months ago
 
top 20 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ech@lemmy.ca 57 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Assume a spherical giraffe.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] hoch@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago

With no air resistance.

[–] iii@mander.xyz 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's usually not the scientists that write shitty headlines like this 🫤

[–] FundMECFSResearch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

What do you mean. The Daily Mail Online is known to be one of the most rigorous publications!

[–] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 13 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

americans will use anything but metric

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 4 points 10 hours ago

Who do you think came up with the ridiculous units to begin with

[–] jonesey71@lemmus.org 12 points 1 day ago

In my mind half a giraffe is just a horse. Just say it is the size of a horse.

[–] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How many bananas are we talking about here?

[–] original_reader@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Why do some have the need to describe things in the oddest "measurements"? I understand that it makes it easier to imagine sometimes, but "half a" ... never mind, found someone who explains this much better than me: https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/for-want-of-a-half-giraffe/

Thanks, Charles C. W. Cooke.

[–] astrsk@fedia.io 3 points 1 day ago

That’s an easy one, down the middle.

[–] andyburke@fedia.io 5 points 1 day ago

A giraffe is a unit of mass....

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

The third half

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago
[–] pimento64@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Halving always produces equal proportions

[–] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Only when halved along a line of symmetry.

A body cut in half at the waist, leaves you with two very different halves despite being the same length/height.

Cut in half along the spine though and you could have two equal, yet mirrored, halves.

With a long neck like a giraffe, half way down the length between the head+tail, one of those 'halves' is going to be much heavier/bulkier.

[–] pimento64@sopuli.xyz 0 points 15 hours ago

Then it isn't a half, because half is a term that has a specific meaning.