"When a gift horse is munching on one's carrot, one must be very careful not to look it in the mouth." - Albert Confucius, 1969-04-20
this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2025
559 points (97.1% liked)
Greentext
6789 readers
1529 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
You got my like for the date. But now: get out!
Speaking from a purely analytical ace/sex-repulsed position:
Removing the blindfold can only at best ruin the prize you’ve already got. You remove the blindfold and find out the best beej in the world comes from Supreme Fellator Donald J. Trump? No ma’am, there is no coming back from that. Leave it on.
One has to be a Giver to give great head. I think youre safe.
I think you underestimate the power of spite
Oh really? And how many dicks have you sucked out of spite? What sort of scenario would that even occur in? Where would one even find such a place!? Like what address!?
load more comments
(2 replies)
I don't give a shit if it's mother Theresa slobbing my job, as long as I get their number and they're game to do it again.
Call me bb.
load more comments
(7 replies)
load more comments
(4 replies)
This reminds me of my ex who liked sucking dick so much i swear she sucked out my soul a couple times.
My wife has sadly never gotten close to those levels of sloppy toppy, i would never tell her tho lol i love her too much and she tries :p.
I definitely peaked too soon in the receiver of blowjob stakes. First real GF genuinely loved to suck dick, she lived for that shit and I swear I had more and better krgasms during that year than the rest of my life since.
Oh well, better to have loved and lost eh
i still havent found what im looking for
load more comments
(1 replies)
It’s unbelievably hot when you’re getting blown with enthusiasm though… Slurping away like my dick is the last ice cream cone they had at the store during an August heatwave is sublime, even a mid grade delivery gets upgraded when it’s clearly desired instead of a choice or foreplay obligation.
This blew my mind the first time I experienced it. I thought I just didn't like receiving head for the longest time, because none of my past girlfriends really liked doing it and my pleasure tends to be pretty empathetic. Then I "dated" a woman in an open relationship/swinger situation who actively wanted my dick in her mouth most of the time. The first time she blew me (and honestly also most times after that too) she managed to get me into a full on autistic sensory overload state, like to the point that I was forgetting to breathe. It worked out super well for me because that made her feel like a sex goddess, and she really liked repeating that experience. It was strange because like, I've never felt more submissive in my life than when she had me in her mouth. She could turn me into a lump of playdough with a hopelessly misfiring central nervous system, and I was entirely at her mercy when that happened. I'd still make ruinous life decisions to spend another night in her bed lol
This is just a glory hole with extra steps.
which is just a cum jar with fewer steps!
load more comments
(1 replies)
Like Cypher said in The Matrix: "Ignorance is bliss".
Right before putting that delicious meat in his mouth
I'd bet money on the best bj imaginable is given by a femboy. Thus the blindfold comes off. I must see the love of my life.
50/50 odds it's a bear.
Or one of those fish that clean the side of the tank in Chinese restaurants.
I, uh, hope we're imagining the same kind of bear.
And I hope we’re imagining the same kind of suckerfish.
Internet is fucked.
Always has been 🌎👨🚀🔫👨🚀
Yeah but this is old fashioned internet fucked and i approve.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Of course I'm taking it off.
Knowledge has value. Are you so willing to give up any future chances just to not ruin this one? You may learn more on this art and its scholars!
load more comments
(8 replies)
I rip the blindfold off right as I ejaculate.
I will answer this question with another question. "If I don't take the blindfold off and find out who is doing the Lord's work, how do I get this person to do it again?"
Too little to gain and too much to lose in removing it. Just enjoy the experience and leave it at that
load more comments
(4 replies)
You know... I think I risk it all and take the blindfold off. Perhaps I am Icarus flying too close to the sun but whilst on the brink of perfection, why not take the plunge?
(NSFW?) spoiler
___
This is not only AI slop but assumes I am Putin. Totally ruins it. If I woke up one day and realized I was Putin, the first fucking thing I'd do is put a bullet through my brain.
load more comments
(3 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
It would be me sucking your dick if you decide to take the blindfold off.
load more comments
(1 replies)
as an everyone hot bisexual I wanna see whose genitals I'm tounging next
The Schrodonger.
I'm pretty sure I'm completely missing the point, but how on earth did you find yourself in the situation? Like your dick out and blindfolded in a location that virtually anyone can walk into. All of a sudden with little warning you feel something happening down there but you don't peek or ask what's up, you just sit there silently and long enough for you to realize you're getting the best blowjob of your life.
Honestly the more I describe the scenario the more I realize unless it's a trusted partner, this is not the type of scenario that most women would immediately just start going to town without reason. So if you are strictly looking for a woman, at very least one of sound mind you are probably SOL.
It's a thought experiment. How the fuck do you find yourself in the trolley problem?
load more comments
(13 replies)
This is kind of what I was thinking. In order for a situation like this to ACTUALLY happen, there is a complete, flat 0% chance that an attractive woman will be involved in any part of this unless you're doing some kind of roleplay thing with your partner in the bedroom. So by default its going to be Bill Cosby's dog or some shit.
I thought Marco Pole-blow was one of those universal games everyone grew up playing.
load more comments
(5 replies)
I'm taking it off. I need to at least make sure it's a sane human and not a rabid pig that's going to spontaneously bite it off.
Premise that it won't bite it off, otherwise it is not the best bj. Would you do it then?
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
I could smell whether they were a man or a woman or a dog or a William Dafoe.
Huh... So, out of curiosity, how does Willem Dafoe smell?
Old leather shoes 🤷
Truly the greatest philosophical question ever conceived by man.
What on Earth would have to possess me to get in that situation in the first place?!
load more comments
(2 replies)
view more: next ›