Ask Lemmy

I just tell them I've only got my card on me and keep walking.

As physical money is becoming more and more obsolete this is becoming less of a lie. And I certainly don't carry change on me anymore.

I used to give them whatever small change/bills I had on me, but then I realized that effectively added up to another monthly bill and I'm trying to save up for a home and need to have rainy day money in case my car eats shit. I vote to help them every chance I get and that is enough. If that isn't enough, then that's our system's fault, not my personal fault.

20s? Someone recently told me "my dad taught me to always carry some change with me, other people need it more than me" and now I'm doing it too. There really isn't any other way to act if you pride yourself on your humanity, anything else is rationalizing selfishness. And I often hear the "they're just gonna use it for booze/drugs!!!" line as if it meant anything. Sure, they might, but even if you're a strict teetotaler (and if you're in any Western country odds are you're not, lol), what else would they do? Have you ever slept on a cold floor while hungry? People kill themselves/complain about life and they have beds, meals, narcotics and internet connections, nvm all sorts of legal drugs to help them cope with everything (something like 15 percent of women in the US are on antidepressants, according to the CDC...). Life is hard sometimes, perhaps they also need to disconnect a bit, idk.

Give when you can, don't rationalize it when you can't. We're all collectively responsible for the playground God made for us and everything/one in it, but you're also just one man/woman. Maybe they'll turn their lives around, maybe your grain of sand will help them reach that point.

I don't carry cash, so that's an easy answer.

I don't usually have cash so I say "sorry I don't have any" and move on. I also volunteer my time with various local orgs so I don't feel bad

If I can spare it, I share it. I used to be homeless myself and would never have gotten out of that without help. It seems to me I have an obligation to pass that on.

NYC, we just ghost everyone that’s not directly involved in our life. My day consists of ghosting the entire city until I get to work

i gave them once, only realized they were lying about thier injury, never again. i just dont have money, but some homeless people can be aggressive/passive aggressive if you dont give them money.

I live in a big city of an decently big country. Here we got many of them particularly around large train stations. I never give to them any money. Reason is - this country has a safety system in order to help people in need like this. If homeless people go against the rules (crime, drugs, abuse of the system) they get kicked out of the shelters. They get help with all sorts of things there and if they really are in dire situation and want to get back to normal life, they would get all necessary help they ever need and more. If they got kicked out, I believe they didn't really wanted to get back their normal life. And in some cases, I see just youth smoking weed on the side of the street and begging for money. They are not in need, they have families and homes. They just collect money for weed. Fuck those guys, really.

I give money to street performers all the time. This brings life and color to the city.

Sometimes I give, sometimes I don't, kinda depends if I have cash.

As a reasonably sized man, I also try to make eye contact and give a polite "Sorry I don't have anything today." For those who really need the help and are trying like hell to get it, I can't imagine the insult to injury you must feel to not only not get help but also to be treated as though you are invisible. I like to at least let people who ask know that I can see them.

If you're in a legitimately dangerous place or you feel you may be at risk in some way maybe don't do this though.

If I have money, I give it to them if they aren't raising any danger flags. Like there's one woman who just screams "I'M HUNGRY" at people, and I'm sure that's true, but I don't engage with her because it feels unsafe. There's one whose name I learned, and another couple we recognize each other now.

I used to make good money (low six figures). Giving away $20/week to people asking for it wasn't even noticeable in my budget. I could probably have done $200/week without noticing. I think my peers are just bad at budgeting though.

I've been unemployed for a while now, so I don't always have cash to give. I tell them the truth.

I don't expect people who have nothing to give a lot. But I know many of my six figure salary peers could give without even noticing the money, and they don't. They don't give to charity, either. They just buy video games they don't play, run the AC so they have to wear a hoodie inside, and so on.

Say "Sorry can't help right now", and keep walking.

simple answer: if I have any I can afford to give, I give it. Sometimes I have not had any and in various cases taken someone out for a meal or given them a meal from my plate. but mostly just money.

Where I live, there isn’t much walking, but the homeless stand at intersections and hold signs and look at you while you wait on the light to change.

My wife, who is a much better person than I, will keep $5 McDonald’s gift cards in her vehicle and sometimes hand those out. She says that there is a McDonald’s within walking distance of almost anywhere in town, and that $5 is enough to get a couple of things off the value menu and a free cup of water. If they’re really homeless and hungry, at least they will have something to eat.

I almost never have cash or even change now, so that's what I tell them. I used to give them some money if I had it and wasn't immediately going to use it. One of my old friends used to give them a beer out of a pack he bought if there was a person outside the store or on the corner begging on the drive to wherever he was going.

If you can afford it, you can ask if you can buy them a coffee and inexpensive meal. Remember declinations of specific food items doesn't mean they're conning. Maybe they're allergic or can't eat/drink particular things for reasons.

If I have cash, I'll give $5 or $10. Sometimes I don't have cash, and I'll just say that. Sometimes I have a spare smoke or soda or whatever and I'll offer one of those instead. I have a union job and few expenses, so I'm in a position to be generous.

Ignore them.

I tell them I'm homeless myself and wish them good luck.

My grandmother who raised me always did the "I don't have any money on me" thing. And I always followed suit until pretty recently. But I got to thinking more about it and eventually concluded that I should always keep a $20 or two in my pocket ready to give.

And then the pandemic came along and I didn't go out much. And now I work from home full time and don't often go anywhere that I'm likely to run into folks asking for money. But I have put that into practice a few times and felt good about it.

There was a woman with a sign standing outside the post office. I ignored her on the way in with the intention of giving her a $20 on the way out. And I made good on that intention. It was scary, but only because I'm kindof an agoraphobe. Heh.

I do have the means to go handing out $20s willy-nilly. And of course with how infrequently I'm likely to pass folks asking for money out in the world, the rate at which I give is tiny. But I do give when that situation comes up.

I'm not saying you should give $20s out to folks. But if your financial situation is stable, I'd say you should give what you can in those situations.

And the fact that these thoughts/questions/concerns are rattling around in your mind are probably a sign of personal growth, so good on you for that.

I donate to a charity that I know will help (they've helped family members in the past), Shelter, but I genuinely say to those who ask me around my town that I have no change

At home: Nothing. Genuine homelessness isn't really a problem. There's this joke that we have a government programme called "winter" that takes care of this. Truth is, there are actual government programmes in place that takes care of this as well - It is written in law that anyone who cannot afford a place to stay, as well as basic necessities will have this covered.

Abroad: When not in what causes fox news talking heads to clutch their pearls over socialist hellscape societies (Norway), I'm a lot more giving. Plus, I usually carry some currency that I will no longer need once I leave. I especially remember the happy outcry of a beggar I walked past while visiting this developing country. I was on my way to pick up some supplies the last day before heading for home. Repeated "Bless you!"-s once he realized that the stack of leftover cash included quite a few 20$ bills.

In short, he obviously needed them more than I, so I gave what I could.

Oh, and if it counts, I often give to buskers as some of them are actually pretty good.

I’ve struggled with this like you for years. My empathy fights with my practicality.

I usually carry some cash and if I have small bills I may give a buck or two to someone. This is more and more rare for me because it’s hard to know who really needs it.

More often, I usually just smile and look them in the eye to acknowledge their humanity. If they ask I just say I’m sorry I don’t have cash.

I just say "sorry, I haven't". I think as long as you just try to acknowledge them in a good way, i.e. smiling, maintaining eye contact, being polite, so you still acknowledge them as the human being that they are.

Sure it's bad to lie, but so is being insensitive with the truth, whether it's "I wanna spend the money on myself" or "there are more effective ways to make a difference than giving money to you"

I don't carry cash on me. I'm mostly not lying. It's rare that I have any. I use my phone for 99% of my daily purchases.

May not be the most polite thing to do, but when outside I always wear headphones walk at fast pace and don't hear anyone no matter who speaks to be.

I've noticed that as long as I have my headphones on, even if they aren't playing, most ppl won't speak to me anyway.

I used to give them a cigarette. I quit though.