this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] bigfondue@lemmy.world 142 points 2 weeks ago (12 children)

I raise you brussels sprouts:

[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 98 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I can't believe you just spent an hour hotgluing brussel sprouts to a small tree just to trick people on the internet

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I even traveled all the way to brussels to get them just for this prank.

[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Brussels can only be called brussels if they're from the brussels region of france, otherwise it's just sparkling wine

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 92 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I'll see your Brussels Sprouts, and raise you Cashews:

Cashew fruit

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 26 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Aren't the tops edible too? I wonder how the little shriveled bean thing on the end became internationally popular but the juicy looking fruit on top isn't. Like, every cashew harvested has to have the fruity part too, what do they all get used for?

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

They’re called cashew apples. You can find them at asian and latin grocery stores sometimes. Never had one, but i hear they are tasty, they’re hard to transport, though, so you have to be in the right areas to find them.

[–] fading_person@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 weeks ago

Cashew juice is very tasty and it's quite popular here in brazil. It also has medicinal properties for when you have diarrhea.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

They're not great. But you can make decent jam from them.

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[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 57 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I see your brussels sprouts and raise you pineapples:

[–] Canconda@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Fuck. Im in a hot area but not zone 10-12 hot.

[–] BillibusMaximus@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago

They may do best there, but I think there is wiggle room, at least for small scale cultivation.

My dad used to grow them in 9a and they grew pretty well. But they need to be covered up or brought in overnight if it's going to get too cold.

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[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 7 points 2 weeks ago

and they are primitive versions of grasses, POALES.

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[–] haerrii@feddit.org 23 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Wtf no way this is real

EDIT: whoa

[–] bigfondue@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

Yea I wasn't sure how I thought they grew, but I never would have guessed that. I saw them at the supermarket on the stem and I was like wtf

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[–] M137@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Peanuts:

Yes, they grow underground like potatoes.

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[–] moitoi@piefed.social 15 points 2 weeks ago

And the violet one tastes great:

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

And here I always thought they grew like tiny cabbages

[–] justastranger@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wait until you hear how closely related they are to cabbages

[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 weeks ago

Brussels sprouts are unreal

[–] frog@feddit.uk 6 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I've seen markets sell brussels sprouts on the stalk but I didn't know it had leaves.

I figured the leaves were the brussels sprouts,

Thanks for the info.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

On another branch of that family tree, those leaves are kale.

[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Not even another branch - it's the same exact species, just a different cultivar

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[–] Eq0@literature.cafe 5 points 2 weeks ago

First time I saw them I felt like someone was playing a massive prank on me… in a random supermarket, by putting clearly alien veggies in the veggie section

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[–] FluidBeef@quokk.au 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You can buy them like that in a grocer though. Shit for fridge space.

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[–] SatyrSack@lemmy.sdf.org 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Would you expect them to grow on a vine like beans or something?

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 58 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Bunched together or with leaves around them was my assumption, not individually like someone just bought some and stuck them in the ground.

Didn't know we harvested them as baby plants.

[–] TowardsTheFuture@lemmy.zip 49 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Oh no that’s not even them as babies. That’s like two years in.

This is baby asparagus. It takes forever to develop to actual asperagus stage.

[–] blargh513@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

It takes several years, many seasons, much sun and rain for such a magnificent vegetable to grow to maturity and be ripe for the harvest.

Unfortunately it tastes like ass, has the texture of twine and makes your piss stink.

Vile weed.

[–] wabasso@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I just need to know if you’ve given properly sautéed asparagus in olive oil and garlic a chance. If you’re basing this on mom’s boiled mush you need to give it a second chance.

Also I personally find it funny when I get to piss stinky piss. Like farts for my dick!

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[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

You fucking what? Say that to my face

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

4 years isn't it? I looked into it back in the 90s, decided hell no. LOL, it was suggested to dig a 4' deep trench to plant them.

[–] TowardsTheFuture@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 weeks ago

That’s probably right. I think they become recognizable as asperagus around 2 years in. We had some, about two years in when were in a mobile home park. Swapped owners so they hired new lawn keepers… who fucking killed them right when they were almost harvestable god I was so mad.

[–] BurgerBaron@piefed.social 8 points 2 weeks ago

The greenhouses around me sell matured asparagus roots. Don't have to wait this way.

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[–] ryathal@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's extremely low maintenance once it establishes though which is nice.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

I'm sorry, I'm still in awe that anyone would hear that asparagus needs two years to grow enough for a viable harvest and still think it's worth doing

[–] Cort@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Well it takes 2 years to grow, but the harvest is in the 3rd year, at least when I've done it. It's a perennial with minimal maintenance aside from weeding & water

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[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago

Wait... How do we know that someone didn't just buy some and stuck them in the ground to make us think that this is how they grow?

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

never really thought about it

I’m a breastparagus man myself

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[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

If you want them to remain white, you have to cover them in earth, the farmers make ridges of earth to cover them:

[–] meliaesc@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Why would you want them to remain white?

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 9 points 2 weeks ago

Because they are delicious that way!

Freshly cooked with egg, ham and butter sauce they are very good. It's called 'white gold'in the Netherlands.

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[–] muts@feddit.nl 5 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
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[–] A_Chilean_Cyborg@feddit.cl 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Asperger = asparagus brings me happy memories of fooling around with this therms, I'm asparagus.

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[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

if you seen agave and aloe blooming, its because they are in the same orders, thts why thier blooms looks giant asparagus shoots.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Asperagus blooming:

[–] Vespair@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I've never understood this meme. Like what did you expect them to look like, and why is this apparently alarming?

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

I expected them to hang off a central stalk. Or perhaps grow like corn, where there's a more plant-looking plant growing with the asparagus inside it.

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