Asklemmy

Sadly, I think that’s the way it’s been since the beginning of humanity and I don’t see it ever changing.

People who don't realize that tolerance is a social contract will tolerate assholism, which abets the assholing.

That's got to stop.

You need to be a bit of an asshole to stand up against assholes. Nice people dont want to be assholes and bend over backwards to make concessions and accommodations.

The assholes generally take charge because they are self-aggrandizing assholes. I genuinely believe most people are good and trying to just get by. It is very hard to not be distracted by the mountains of daily life struggles one has to wade through because of the power hungry assholes.

I mean, I really think the biggest thing is that so many people are fully bought into the idea that any alternative system would be just disastrous and lead to mass starvation thanks to propaganda.

As folks have said. An individual asshole has advantage over an individual non asshole. Thing is our society can only funtion with a certain amount of assholes before collapsing and it does not take a surprisingly large amount. Which is why we are collapsing.

The system isn't formed based on the wills of individuals, nor is there an inherent "nice" or "mean" quality to people. If we all decide we want to live in a perfect utopia, that still won't take form, because that's not how societal progression works. We live in capitalism, because capitalism emerged from preceding modes of production like feudalism. It wasn't a choice people made, but an economic progression on the basis of private property and free-moving capital, which leads us to today where a tiny handful own the lion's share of production.

Capitalism is riddled with contradictions, however, and these contradictions sharpen over time. We move onto socialism by organizing, where we can actually take control of production and run it along a common plan to suit the needs of the people.

Edit: figured it's a good chance to plug my introductory Marxist-Leninist reading list, if what I said makes sense to you!

Unfortunately society encourages and glorifies shitty behaviour. So this behaviour is completely normalised for the majority of people who see it as a thing to be desired, rather than something thats shitty.

A bummer because im naturally nice and i get upset at people who aren't. I just dont get it. I feel awful if I'm mean or something by accident or get misinterpreted. I wonder what it is, because my parents are not very nice people.

I don't know where you're getting the idea that people don't care. People do care, a lot of people care a lot. Part of the problem is that people who want to act ethically and politely, people who want to minimize harm, are going to be at a distinct disadvantage when opposing people for whom the ends always justify the means, and the ends they seek are their own betterment above all else.

If your idea of action is sternly worded letters and peaceful protest, and my idea of action is violence and unabashed corruption of authority, you're going to have a real uphill battle to dislodge me from any power I manage to gain. It doesn't mean the corrupt assholes are unstoppable, only that their methods are more aligned with the acquisition and retention of power.

It damages my calm on a daily basis. Our society rewards sociopathy. It’s that simple. And I fucking hate it.

More and more I see that a lot of people who think they’re “nice” are just lazy and largely uprincipled people who assume that they’re doing good simply because they have good intentions and they’re not actively creating problems.

I don’t think that there’s more assholes than decent people. I think the assholes just stick out more.

There are more assholes than good people because assholery typically delivers better results in terms of wealth, power, and status, and good people have to accept a lower social status in order to maintain their goodness, but most people don't fall into either category.

But the vast majority of people fall into an apathetic middle ground where they don't really think too much about any kind of moral consistency and act according to paths they're already on and the rules those paths require.

I know it may seem that way if you're constantly online these days, but in general most people are just people. Like 80% are mostly good, but human, and may have some minor issues. Probably 10% are Jesus-level good, then 10% are sociopathically evil.

Now, if by society you mean "American capitalism", then yes that favors assholes who care less about their fellow humans. This flavor of capitalism is inherently selfish and greedy, so those who succeed in it are the most greedy and bad people. Yes people care, but the forces preventing anyone from changing it are the strongest in the history of human civilization with technology too now, that makes it borderline impossible to change the underlying system. Only a major catastrophe caused by capitalism where millions of Americans died would cause the general populace to question the system, but honestly even then who fucking knows.

It can certainly feel that way. And I do think there is no such thing as an ethical billionaire, if by favouring assholes you mean rewarding monetarily.

I argue though, that without kindness there would be no societies. Even if the parable of the Margaret Mead's healed femur isn't true, the fact remains that there are in fact those who help, and they are probably more plentiful than those who hurt. They're just harder to spot, because media makes money off emotions and fear and anger are stronger than hope.

To quote Mr Rogers "look for the helpers", because they are there. And if you're not seeing them, maybe it's time for a news break. Including social media, just for a week. And then see how you are feeling. I have to take breaks now and then, and I promise it helps.

Sure I care but what can I do besides voting?

This is going to be an unpopular opinion because most people like to think of themselves as nice. I think it's not so much that there are nice people and assholes, but rather that almost everyone is an asshole some of the time.

The assholes are louder or more annoying, but in my experience the vast majority of people are kind.

Selfish, childish, propagandized and mostly unthinking and amoral people are big enough pluralities in certain societies and only an ideological awakening post societal collapse could help it, yes. I mean, if you live in the West for instance, what exactly is stopping you from just "focusing on yourself", or pushing you to be prosocial and wise? 🤷

Being shitty is much easier and takes much less effort so it prevails wherever people don’t collectively resist it.

I believe some amount of people support the assholes because some how they think (or hope) they will benefit by giving that support (especially so many of the assholes have so much power and money.) The "trickle down" effect from the assholes. Oops, might not have been the best phrase ... on second thought ...