I guess I should not show you my $250/night hotel room from Indianapolis last week then… (that city also intermittently smelled like sewage)
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this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2025
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My dream growing up was to live in New York, so maybe I can explain the allure. I grew up in a small town, wide open spaces, what a lot of people say they want. In my town everyone knew everyone's name, they'd wave at you, they'd say hello, everyone went to church, quite close to the "American Ideal".
Except no one talks about what it's like to actually live in a small town. All the niceness is a facade. We were poor, my parents were divorced, we worked minimum wage jobs to scrape by. When people waved they would immediately start talking about how I was a part of that family, did you hear what their mom is doing for work? I heard she can't even afford clothing for her kids. Church was just High School 2.0 for people in a small town, where cliques formed and people are ostracized. In a small town everyone knows you, everyone knows your business, everyone knows your secrets, and unless you're in the right circles, it can feel quite ostracizing. (And that's not even covering the lack of anything to do or eat or culture or anything).
So yeah. A city like New York smells. And there are a lot of people. That's the allure. You're completely anonymous. People from small towns think New Yorkers are mean. They're not. They just don't care about you, and that's a wonderful feeling. People don't need to wave to show human kindness. If you trip and fall in New York chances are someone will ask if you're okay, and then never see you again. In a small someone might help you, and then they'll talk about it later to people you know. There's a kindness in the throngs of random people - and I love that.
Smells you can walk right past, crowds you can ignore or move a block over to where it's quieter. There are parks and rivers when you feel cramped. There are escapes in a big city. In a small town there is no escape.
So anyway, not trying to "convince" you that you're wrong, but maybe you'll see why others like it.
None of that is anything I haven’t heard before, and it still makes no sense to me.
I just wish I didn’t have to be here for stuff. It’s like how every business and government is run by type-A try-hards who schedule meetings at ungodly hours like 9am.
This is actually a very nice reminder of why I left the Midwest. I get stressed out in the city (Los Angeles) but after 10 years it feels much more like home. It’s easy to forget why you moved somewhere and the grass is always greener on the other side.
EYYYY I'M WALKIN HEEYUH
EEEEYYYYY FUCKIN HOT DOG BIG APPLE YANKEES OVAHEAH
But it's the greatest city on Earth, according (exclusively) to New Yorkers!
I hate almost everything about cities. And New York has the most city shit of any city.
So it might be the best city in the world but that’s not something to brag about IMHO
Not all cities are like that. Come to Scandinavia, we have small cities and polite people. And basically everybody speaks English - that's how we communicate with Denmark who speaks Scandinavian, just very very poorly.
I prefer cities without people.
Then get into urban exploring and ghost cities. Nothing more creepily liminal than an empty city.
I’d rather explore the woods
I've enjoyed it when I've visited but I'd probably go insane if I had to actually live there. Broadway? Nice. Fun times. Restaurants? Cool. The park??? Real neat. Living there??? Nuhuh.
I think I can say that about any North American city. I used to love the idea of living in Vancouver, but the reality is having to cross an 8 lane stroad to get to the bus stop on the other side and the bus is late because that lane is also used for parking and no one wants to do anything about than because storing private vehicles on public roadways is apparently a god given right.
Also there's barely any public washrooms so the whole city is basically roads and overpriced apartments.
That's just North American cities in general though. Shitholes because the infrastructure needed to develop a healthy economy just isn't there. People will pich ideas to develop it more but there's always the WhErE wiLl i PaRk My CaR push back.
/rant
Years ago I was dragged there by a girlfriend. I was not impressed and cut the 5 day trip short on day 3.
I did find aspects of the city very interesting, but I cannot say that I would like to live there or visit again.
It’s my first night here and I already miss seeing what few stars I could see from home.
I can’t wait till I can properly fuck off to the middle of nowhere and see a real sky.
I was completely turned off by the stench of human waste. Hustlers, vagrants, pickpockets every 10 meters.
Then we checked into our 375 a night "boutique hotel" and when we got in, there was a 14 inch pool of blood on the carpet and blood splatters / bloody-fingerprints all over the walls. Like somebody was murdered with a bowling trophy a couple hours prior.
The trip did not get better from there.
The stinkyness is because of poor planning hundreds of years ago that generally didn't include alleyways because the planners wanted to maximize real estate value instead of practical livability. So the bins go on the street, not tucked away. Also forces garbage trucks to sit in streets making traffic worse.
The stinkiness is humans over a certain density threshold. I’ve smelled it in Paris and London and Boston and Chicago and Copenhagen.
Humans smell, and in attempting to cover up the smell they make worse smells.
I’ve been dying to check it out. I’ve been living in Los Angeles for ~10 years and find the people move at a snail’s pace and are just completely unaware of their surroundings. I’m really craving a fast-paced environment.
Why not just move to where there are no people and you can walk whatever speed you want? 🤷🏻
I spent the first 18+ years of my life in the middle of nowhere and in fact just returned from there. That place is so dead, lacking life and the same abandoned farm equipment is still where it was when I was five years old.
While it’s completely open the environment is suffocating and stifling. I’ll never live somewhere like that again.
Yeah, East Coast might be your thing. Everyone there always seems like they're in a big hurry. Not my thing, but maybe yours
That’s why I really want to experience it for myself. I’ve gotten a taste of it in Mexico City but it’s one of those things where you just don’t know until you try it.
Sounds like you need a project. Start restoring that old farm equipment.